poetry critical

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Breathe
unknown

What can I do more then breathe
 1
And hope that every breathe I take
 2
is yet another breath to be took
 3
 
 
Inhale . . .
 4
 
 
                . . . exhale,
 5
 
 
is there much of a difference but a pair of letters
 6
“In” and “ex” and all that comes with it
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(not to mention of course that they're followed closely by hell)
 8
I breathe only to express that I’m not worthy enough to become either;
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"in" or not even an "ex . . ."
 10
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Inhale . . .
 11
 
 
/\__/\___/\___/\___/\___/\___/\___/\___/\
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. . . Exhale
 13
 
 
/\_____/\_____/\______/\_____/\_____/\__
 14
 
 
 
 
 
 
Inhale . . .
 15
 
 
/\______________/\_________________/\__
 16
 
 
 
 
. . .Exhale . . .
 17
 
 
                                     ". . . maybe it’s not so bad"
 18
 
 
 
 
                      . . . Exhale
 19
 
 
 
 
/\_____________________________________
 20

26 Feb 07

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Comments:

Superb!  What a wonderful read.  I enjoyed this :)  Different and visual and utterly marvelous, in my opinion.
 — unknown

Excellent humour and fun and imagery.
 — CrunchyWeta

i like it...very creative....good job lovey..
 — unknown

Thank you all much
 — unknown

This is stupid
 — unknown

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