poetry critical

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hell
unknown

i go up to breakfast to eat with my family
 1
my mum, dad, younger brother and me
 2
pancakes and eggs, and everything delicious,
 3
we talk about everything
 4
school, work and the nice breeze
 5
from the open window blowing into our faces
 6
we are all smiling and loving eachother's company.
 7
it couldnt get any where better when i waken.
 8
waken from the loud voices of my parents
 9
yelling at eachother, with my brother curled up.
 10
curled up in the corner
 11
afraid
 12
i just lay back down, in my coverless bed,
 13
cold.
 14
trying to dream more lovely dreams
 15
and trying to get away from this hell
 16

24 Feb 07


(define the words in this poem)



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Get rid of everything extraneous, as in
'I go up to breakfast with my family'
delete 'everything ' from L4
Go through the lines and continue the above process
 — unknown

I am bisexual and proud of it.
 — unknown

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