poetry critical

online poetry workshop

It Grows as She Dies

It ate her away from within,
and every comforting word
was a slap in her face.
She knew the fault in her gene,
the flaw that broke and killed
every precious thing.
If she sometimes cried in the night,
the tears weren't for herself,
but for those who still had hope.

23 Feb 07

Rated 9 (9) by 4 users.
Active (4): 8, 9, 9, 10
Inactive (0):

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(3 users consider this poem a favorite)

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Sad!  We're all victims of genetics and it's coming to get us, you said this so very well.  
 — Isabelle5

Should gene be genes?  Just wondering.  Does anyone know the exact gene that does the trick?
 — Isabelle5

Amazing. Thank you for sharing it.
 — themorrigan

Thank both of you very much. It took a lot to write this.
 — unknown

I'm sorry if this is true.  So sorry.
 — Isabelle5

I don't get it what is it about?
 — unknown

This is so sad and beautiful.  I am teary as I read it.  What courage it must have taken to write.  Q
 — quelyn

Seriously, is this a poetry workshop or just a mutual admiration society where no one actually critiques anything? Yes, what is written here is sad - but isn't a workshop supposed to critique the POEM - just because someone has suggestions to make the poem better doesn't mean they are insulting the poet for god's sake! The comments I am reading here on this "workshop" forum borders on the ridiculous. I thought if I kept lurking around there might be some merit here, I find none. Wouldn't post one of my poems here - I actually want critique.
 — unknown

What's the purpose of your comment, unknown? If you think people should be giving better critiques, get a user name and start giving good critiques. Right now, you're just another person giving useless comments. The only difference is that you have a snotty, holier-than-thou attitude that nobody measures up to your standard.
 — unknown

Thank, all above (even you unknowns)...
 — unknown

who died?
 — unknown

Henry died.
 — unknown

 — unknown