poetry critical

online poetry workshop



last night we were necrophiliacs
Sodomize

what happened?
 1
 
 
the hot's blistering your lips, white and full of pus waiting to
 2
burst like the sun raining down on the three of us; i'd
 3
cannibalize you any day, babe, if it weren't for the fact that you're
 4
seriously diseased, speaking in tongues, ripping at the raft with those
 5
bloody offed nails of yours;
 6
they came off like little badminton birdies,
 7
some flung up like a great serve,
 8
a few others as jagged sprinkles
 9
decorating the shark's fleshy neck like something fierce.
 10
he went down like a bullet shot into water; quickly at first,
 11
but succumbing to sinking slothly.
 12
 
 
this was going to be a fun cruise,
 13
but look, i can see the cops from here.
 14
though i may simply be delirious from sea water;
 15
or just dehydration.
 16

19 Feb 07

Rated 7 (7) by 1 users.
Active (1): 7
Inactive (0):

(define the words in this poem)
(29 more poems by this author)



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

with a title like this, I'm surprised this hasn't been cannibalized yet.
I'm pretty certain that "slothly" is incorrect.
I think it should be "slothfully" L12.
This poem confused me.  I'm not sure who you are talking about, or to whom.  
The "babe" is who I was thinking of, but then you change to "he", then "look"...
weird.
I like being delirious from sea water and all that tho.
Jen-
 — jenakajoffer

i really like this. nice ideas and voice.
 — listen

Newest (expand)
Recently Commented (expand)
0.384s