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Snake Eyes See Clearly
Bandrews

It's a story heard a million times,
 1
about giving your heart away,
 2
to the golden beautiful boy,
 3
with the hypnotizing eyes.
 4
 
 
Treating girls like queens,
 5
telling them things
 6
only believed by girl's sixteen,
 7
but he sees it as a short fling.
 8
 
 
When the world love is spoken,
 9
from his perfect lips,
 10
it's easy to give away,
 11
something he noticed
 12
at the sight of sensual hips.
 13
 
 
It's the story,
 14
the one about the easy girl,
 15
manipulated from flattering charisma,
 16
and eyes that spot the innocence,
 17
he dares to take.
 18

18 Feb 07

Rated 5.5 (5.5) by 2 users.
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Comments:

I liked it at first, but quickly realized that it was trite. The title is a bit dorky too. I think you do write better than most though. 6/10
 — Henry

I agree with Henry, it is trite. A little cliche. Tell the story from someones point of view who hasn't heard it a million times.

Pretend that you have had no access to televison, people, or other stories and tell it in ur language.

Potential.
 — PollyReg

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