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Fantasies On The Circle
musicwords

Oh! To find that storybook love!
 1
Our eyes meet and,
 2
in my mind,
 3
we are away and in love,
 4
made to wander aimlessly
 5
through enchanted forests,
 6
and hold one another's hand,
 7
and fight off evil with a bat of our eyelashes.
 8
 
 
If only you would draw sword
 9
and defend me.
 10
I could stand
 11
and cover my mouth,
 12
gasp,
 13
and cheer when you win.
 14
 
 
Fairies would come at night
 15
and wreak havoc with our days.
 16
We would spend endless hours
 17
being deliriously confused
 18
and gently sad,
 19
before we find one another again,
 20
in a scene from your childhood dreams,
 21
or mine.
 22
 
 
When you are gone,
 23
the horses and my protection with you,
 24
you will write longhand letters
 25
in sloping pens,
 26
reciting the greatest poets,
 27
lamenting the loss of me,
 28
describing love in one hundred ways
 29
I've never heard before.
 30
 
 
We will be reunited,
 31
once four seasons have made your eyes
 32
a shade darker,
 33
and mine a shade sadder,
 34
but the banquet will give us fire
 35
and we'll dance and laugh our way
 36
to a happy ending.
 37
 
 
But alas,
 38
all this is not to be,
 39
because Liverpool Street is your stop
 40
and mine is Farringdon.
 41
 
 
You get off, and I look through the window,
 42
wishing I had the courage to wink.
 43

18 Feb 07

Rated 7 (7) by 2 users.
Active (2): 6, 8
Inactive (0):

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Comments:

nice fantasy ;-)

l19: sp 'find'
 — unknown

Clever poem, you have an extra d in L19
 — unknown

What in the name of Dan Rather were you eating when you wrote this? 6/10
 — Henry

Henry, you comments are almost always completely useless. Do you have absolutely NO knowledge of poetry?

What were you eating when you decided to join this site?

This has nothing to do with my poem, it's a general observation.

To the unknowns above, thank you!

x
 — musicwords

Well, I think Henry asked a perfectly good question.
A question too personal to answer?  9/10?
 — unknown

I'd cut L8 in half after bat and make the rest L9 for some comedic value :) but I'm a loon like that.
L14.. I'm not sure I like cheer.  Perhaps a more old-tyme-y word?
L15-16 are fabulous.
L29-30 as well, really.
L43: perhaps try "wishing for the courage to wink?"

This is great fun.  Fun yet sad yet real yet..... sorry, I was reading again (for the fourth time).  Love how it comes back to reality so abruptly - good choice.  Very nice, Music.  Perhaps take a swing by some of my newer poems? Crap, I admit - could use a little Music and melody, perhaps.. ;)  
 — WordsAndMe

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