poetry critical

online poetry workshop

Living in My Mother's Commercial

Perhaps it is too detailed...I need to work on that a lot

I've watched her in the corner of my eyes
scared to look at her straight forward
so beautiful she might have disappeared.
Why was I never allowed to share such beauty?
She strived to be perfection itself
Making sure all was right before he came.
With him it never was...
The shadows on her showed the affliction.
I've watched her make the shadows worse
too scared to make her cloak of perfection transparent
Why did I allow myself to be just as transparent?

17 Feb 07

(define the words in this poem)

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line 9, change worst to worse.

 — unknown

Interesting topic, I think you should keep working on this, the answers are in there, somewhere
 — unknown