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The girl in the electrical socket.

The girl in the electrical socket.
After all I thought I had
taught myself,
I still allowed it.
girl is made of
battery acid on a lonely night,
and still eats at my mind.
Skin flushed,
circuitry racing
with  booze and nightlife,
Then later comes
the pale one
in the mirror,
still less of a ghost.
Continue to keep letting her
Tear away at those
Radiating wire arteries,
It’s not just about her,  
Disconnecting us all.
There’s a
circuit breaker
that keeps us going,
                    center point
of held life.
In this I fear of
becoming just like her.
abandoning that girl, though,  
would be
throwing my own heart away.
Dreams will
have not
Subconscious is smarter
than ever thought.
this fake hope,
it’s just as real as yours.
a she that never was,
and always will be.  
the lying,
false twin may forever
entangle herself
within my mass.
The green wire,
The red wire,
Which one am I?
Explosions imminent.
To restart a heart,
Rewire it,
Is an operating system
we’ve yet to totally figure out.
Something that could create ghosts
Haunting ourselves.
She’s obscure
yet obscenely prominent,
hiding in the shadow,
a triangle
in the corner of the room.
Shadowed, safe.
Overcharged and overloaded.
I hate her.
I love her.

17 Feb 07

(define the words in this poem)
(6 more poems by this author)

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I forced myself to read all of this and my eyes rolled at the end of each stanza.  Come on, people!  Where's the substance, the beauty?  Really, my only comment for this is:  blah, blah, blah.  Now (cos the newest list is crap) I'm going to ram a pen into my jugular.
 — unknown

Using an extended metaphor is tricky business. Make sure that you don't over do it, or it will come off as being predictable.

I suggest you revise L41-L48. Separate they could work. Dilute it with some lines that don't include your extended metaphor.

I love L62 and L63. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Hope that helps,
 — wanderlusted