poetry critical

online poetry workshop



déjà vu
lanezfairy

I linger.
 1
expand,
 2
obsess
 3
in an unnatural passion.
 4
i feed in this fervency,
 5
of standing in front of the mirror:
 6
staring myself down.
 7
hynoticly gazing at
 8
that young girl with the
 9
scraggly hair, frizzy
 10
and a dirty face.
 11
too bloated for clothes and
 12
shy in non-seductive ways.
 13
and yet still the Adrianna Lima-esque
 14
foriegn, dark hair
 15
brown-eyed damsel appears
 16
every now and then.
 17
before she can blink,
 18
before she can flaunt she disappears again
 19
that unkempt and unmolded child,
 20
despite the illnesses,
 21
the makeup, the stylists, the designers,
 22
the supermodel status, what those
 23
stupid, sickly rich boys whisper to me
 24
over the sour, fuschia martinis;
 25
the years of soveriegn societal glamor,
 26
and yet that disheveled little girl
 27
   reemerges (constantly)
 28

16 Feb 07

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Comments:

the offset lines distract from the words. lose that silly trick.
 — unknown

thanks for your comment. tell me if it's any better.
 — lanezfairy

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