Comments:
I like this - Especially lines 5-8.
By bulkhead, im guessing you mean a covered entrance to a doorway rather than a walled section in the hold of a ship? - i like it either way. I had to look it up for the former meaning, i didnt know this use of the word so thanks for enlightening me.
My only quibble is I wouldn't use the word streetlife, but that's just my preference.
8/10
Will
— sisotowbel
Good short sharp poem. Says much through ommission
— larrylark
Thanks, sisotowbel and Larry Did Ya Shovel the Snow Out from Under the Bulkhead Lark! I see what u mean about "streetlife" in L9. Hmmmm...what other word can be used to make it seem less redundant? Any ideas anyone? Peace! Starr
— starr
Nevermind. I changed "Streetlife is the way he lives" in L9 to "On the street is where he lives." I think it reads a bit better now. Thanks for your input though, folks!
— starr
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