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Dean-o's Sky
starr
Pennies come,
 1
nickels fly;
 2
 
 
no dollars fall
 3
from Dean-o's sky.
 4
 
 
Bulkhead is his
 5
winter tent.
 6
 
 
Landlord lets him
 7
free of rent.
 8
 
 
On the street is where he lives
 9
taking what the alley gives.
 10

15 Feb 07

Rated 8 (8) by 2 users.
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Comments:

I like this - Especially lines 5-8.
By bulkhead, im guessing you mean a covered entrance to a doorway rather than a walled section in the hold of a ship? - i like it either way. I had to look it up for the former meaning, i didnt know this use of the word so thanks for enlightening me.
My only quibble is I wouldn't use the word streetlife, but that's just my preference.
8/10
Will
 — sisotowbel

Good short sharp poem. Says much through ommission
 — larrylark

Thanks, sisotowbel and Larry Did Ya Shovel the Snow Out from Under the Bulkhead Lark!  I see what u mean about "streetlife" in L9.  Hmmmm...what other word can be used to make it seem less redundant?  Any ideas anyone?  Peace!  Starr
 — starr

Nevermind.  I changed "Streetlife is the way he lives" in L9 to "On the street is where he lives."  I think it reads a bit better now.  Thanks for your input though, folks!
 — starr
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