poetry critical

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the list of shoulda/coulda/woulda
brianuxo

shoulda drowned on the titanic in the tens.
 1
shoulda been a gangster in the twenties.
 2
shoulda been a singer in the thirties.
 3
shoulda been a soldier in the forties.
 4
shoulda been a beat in the fifties.
 5
shoulda been a cowboy in the sixties.
 6
shoulda been the mad hatter in the seventies.
 7
shoulda been a ... fuck the eighties.
 8
shoulda been a child prodigy in the nineties.
 9
shoulda been someone else today.
 10
 
 
coulda played with the band as the ship went down,
 11
coulda turned the st. valentine's day massacre around
 12
coulda sang in lounges and made a scene,
 13
coulda been a part of a post traumatic dream
 14
coulda met Dean Moriarty,
 15
coulda let the world's worst trip gallop by,
 16
coulda hid while the hangover died
 17
coulda rode the bomb down on '83
 18
coulda made 'em all look at me
 19
coulda been someone else today.
 20
 
 
woulda found Jack Dawson and pushed him under
 21
woulda made 'em an offer they couldn't refuse
 22
woulda made the flappers shift and shudder
 23
woulda sat in a bunker reading Proust
 24
woulda seen this whole damn land for 1.25
 25
woulda fought the commies with a 10 gallon hat
 26
woulda gone mercury mad, and spoke in rhyme
 27
woulda bashed Ronald Reagan with a baseball bat
 28
woulda had the world in the palm of my hand, so to say
 29
woulda been someone else today.
 30

14 Feb 07

Rated 9.7 (9.7) by 3 users.
Active (3): 9, 10, 10
Inactive (0):

(define the words in this poem)
(6 more poems by this author)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)
escapeartist
mister9a



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Comments:

Oh my..  I honestly can't think of what to say about this.  It captivated me, and I thank you, Author, for that.  I always find it difficult to critique a piece of writing that moves me so deeply - be it emotionally, mentally or consciously - and in all honesty I don't want to.  I ENJOYED this.  Wonderful links and tie-ins.  Good work. Favourite (a 'must' read again).
 — CervusWright

Powerful, powerful poem! The imagery and the influence of piece of chronology is amazing.  However, I feel that a more subtle title might catch the reader more off guard, and perhaps, intrigue them even more.  Might i suggest the title Someone Else Today, since it has such a profound effect on the poem.
 — escapeartist

incredibolous poemetry.
 — varun

very witty. Well done!
 — mister9a

this is ABSOLUTELY amazing...wow.  the way you hold onto the theme so well...w-o-w.
 — unknown

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