poetry critical : poem

Lament of A Spiteful Wife.

opal

Make me laugh he said.	1
How? I wondered miserably	2
as the unscratchable itch	3
of resentment set in.	4

Make him laugh indeed.	5
Make him laugh	6
I ask you,	7

Have I not already	8
given him children?	9
changed career?	10
compromised at every turn?	11
indulged his love of beer?	12
cooked his dinner for more years	13
than the most recalcitrant sinner	14
spends inside?	15
Bought his clothes?	16
made his bed?	17
laid in it?	18
poured his wine?	19
washed his smalls?	20

I’ve even eaten	21
the ill-assorted,	22
charred remains	23
he claimed made a meal.	24

I’ll make him laugh I thought.	25
Make him chortle, giggle, tickle	26
his funny bone	27
as I slowly and carefully tied,	28
(double knots, pulled extra tight)	29
every last pair	30
of his shoelaces together.	31

That should make him laugh all right.	32

12 Feb 07

Rated 7.7 (7.7) by 3 users.

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Comments:

haha, made me laugh :)
— unknown

great minds and all that.
— opal

  A very enjoyable read, lovely flow.  Very healthy for the bondage partner to explore both roles; such are the dreams of the everyday housewife, heh heh
— unknown

I just can't relate and this is about as poetic as the nutrition label on a bottle of water. 5/10
— Henry

Wow!  Sister!  You've got a mean streak!   lol!

He'd better sleep with one eye closed.

hee! hee!
— bellavida

I like the way it is set up and worded. I liked reading it.
— MelissaK

Thanks unknown 2 - very Freudian interpretation - made me laugh :)

Henry - ypu're obviously drinking the wrong water - Evian - one of the most beautiful, poetic words in any language.

Bella - He's only got one eye in the middle of his forehead, so i suppose your advice will fall upon stony ground. We all  have a mean streak - i'm just open about mine.

Thanks Melissa - I played about with the wording to give a bit of dramatic impact.
— opal

Opal, I try to get my muse to do my dirty work, but she's on vacation!   lol!
— bellavida

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