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My heart has hunt frontier land
in dear skin and mocassin.
A trail of tears stitched my arms
with scars and fibrous tissue.
I wish one fervant ague
to rip apart my weathered seams
and bleed the wild blood
of the wilderness that tore me.
I want one magnificent tempest
to rage against me a torrent
so strong that my heart shall emerge
baptised clean from violence.
My Cherokee bride has found me
cased in battled leather
insensible, reft of the love
fit to clothe her naked heart.

10 Feb 07

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line 1 - hunt or hunting or is hunting?  

Line 11 - shall should be will, as heart is not a personal pronoun

But for those two small things, I find this enchanting.  Strength of will, tired of spirit, finding a woman who will, if you let her, weave you to what you wish to be.
 — Isabelle5

Why haven't more people read this?  Come on, I want some opinions besides my own, please.
 — Isabelle5

Hunt, meant to be past tense. Fixed the shall, need to read up on that rule.

Thanks for the feedback.
 — unknown