poetry critical

online poetry workshop



A KIND OF BURNING
wowmunti

it is perhaps because
 1
one way or the other
 2
we keep this distance
 3
closeness will tug us apart
 4
in many directions in absolute din
 5
how we love the same trivial persuits
 6
and insignificant gewgaws
 7
spoken or inert
 8
clawed at the same straws
 9
poured over the same jigsaws
 10
trying to make heads or tails
 11
you sling at stars
 12
i bedeck the weeds
 13
straining in song or profanities
 14
towards some fabled meetings
 15
apart from what dreams read
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and suns dismantle
 17
oh we have all
 18
but the hapless lovers in this
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wayward world in almost all kinds of ways
 20
except, we never really meet, but
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for this kind of burning.
 22

1 Feb 07

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everyone's using "poetry" for secular sermons these days. must be the crisis of faith or something, and there's not much you can say about it except hope the author has a good speaking voice.
 — mikebauer

beautiful language
 — unknown

on the contrary, the poem has so much to say.  

i read here some truths about relationships--how it is bound to die.  talks about
keeping distance so as not to burn out.  this is particularly likely to two lovers who are same: both clawed straws, both poured over the same jigsaws.

and particularly likely to two lovers who are opposites:  one sling at stars, one bedeck weeds.
 — Timmy

some verse have a music so elfin it becomes audible only on intent rereading.  A first glance may suggest that the verse chiefly moves to the rythm of conversation .  But as I read and reread, i somewhat catch an undercurrent or overtone of melody, very subtle.. very delicate. as if the words were being not so much spoken as hummed.  Now and then the music becomes overt, though never obvious and these, your supreme moments offering a wandering intricate rythm, a richness of concealed rhyme. i love your poem.
 — amon

mikebauer is an asshole
 — unknown

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