poetry critical

online poetry workshop


it is perhaps because
one way or the other
we keep this distance
closeness will tug us apart
in many directions in absolute din
how we love the same trivial persuits
and insignificant gewgaws
spoken or inert
clawed at the same straws
poured over the same jigsaws
trying to make heads or tails
you sling at stars
i bedeck the weeds
straining in song or profanities
towards some fabled meetings
apart from what dreams read
and suns dismantle
oh we have all
but the hapless lovers in this
wayward world in almost all kinds of ways
except, we never really meet, but
for this kind of burning.

1 Feb 07

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everyone's using "poetry" for secular sermons these days. must be the crisis of faith or something, and there's not much you can say about it except hope the author has a good speaking voice.
 — mikebauer

beautiful language
 — unknown

on the contrary, the poem has so much to say.  

i read here some truths about relationships--how it is bound to die.  talks about
keeping distance so as not to burn out.  this is particularly likely to two lovers who are same: both clawed straws, both poured over the same jigsaws.

and particularly likely to two lovers who are opposites:  one sling at stars, one bedeck weeds.
 — Timmy

some verse have a music so elfin it becomes audible only on intent rereading.  A first glance may suggest that the verse chiefly moves to the rythm of conversation .  But as I read and reread, i somewhat catch an undercurrent or overtone of melody, very subtle.. very delicate. as if the words were being not so much spoken as hummed.  Now and then the music becomes overt, though never obvious and these, your supreme moments offering a wandering intricate rythm, a richness of concealed rhyme. i love your poem.
 — amon

mikebauer is an asshole
 — unknown

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