poetry critical

online poetry workshop

interior design

there is nothing more
to do. so go
make appointments
with those near death,
rearrange some debris,
and mythologize
your histories

life as (a) novel. stories is all we got.

27 Jan 07

Rated 9.3 (9.3) by 6 users.
Active (6): 7, 7, 10, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (0):

(define the words in this poem)

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i smiled. this is great. i dont totally understand it, but just enough to make me like it.

 — topop

s'good. it's a bear having to fat "more" out like that, skirting on the prosaic, but it works, it's kept in enough by the "so go", i think, which clips the rhyme for me -- since it can't rhyme "more/go", and these two things stop my mind from reading "left to do" as a memo text. this is a difficult write, i think, and the simplicity of this poem hides the intuitive skill that put it together. "mythololgize your histories" is one of these things the pin-heads might pick up on and throw back at you, since a history, story, is also a "myth", theme, conceptually. this is a poem, though, and the syntax is what makes it work, not the news-story or clever names.

hope this means something. the poem did, to me.

nice writing.
 — mikebauer

I don't understand this at all. You seem to have a clear message but you're leaving too many details in your head. A few more clues please.

L1 Seems like you only need "more", or "left", but not both.

L4 Isn't every living thing "pending dead"? So which belong to me? (your)

L7 Unclear if histories is the right tense, seems like maybe you're cheating so it rhymes.
 — rocket

looks like it pretty much says what the footer note says it's about: faking a life, and then faking out your death to complement it, and ain't that a fine solution to a problem that never let on a clue how to solve it.
 — mikebauer

I would change line 7 altogether, or change your to yourself.

It is confusing as in as much as you (They/I) have nothing left to do, infering alongside the myth making that (They/I) am close to death, but it is others who are pending dead. There is not a consistent subject for the internal design of the title in my opinion.
 — unknown

me thinks youre wrong.

interior design refers to organization of the self
 — unknown

ennui builds on further self analysis

so go tend to your imminent dying friends,
organize your fragmented life in the mean time, there is nothing else to do beyond this anyway and perhaps share  self narratives of perhaps grandiose  fictions to avoid present day gloom
 — unknown

Ooooh...I'm diggin' THIS ONE.  Word up!  Thanks!
 — starr

it works as an aphorism, but it's nothing more than that - i'd say that's ok, but I think this little verse is aspiring to something greater than....
 — unknown

Hmmm... I'm not on this train.  Can you please give me a valid boarding pass?   Really, I'm usually down with a good poem, but "rank" says this is HOT and I am not seeing the beauty.  It seems to be talking over my head, like trying to be overly intellectual or something lofty.  It's ended up losing me.
 — aforbing

this is about the interior sensation of finality. the fatigue of existing. the last lines suggesting the need to rewrite history as the future has little to offer.
 — unknown