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The "Now" Before The "Then"
smileforme

She calls
 1
 
 
I dont answer
 2
 
 
I prefer to call back
 3
 
 
Im not sure that I know why
 4
 
 
It just seems more right
 5
 
 
Somehow
 6
 
 
She wants more from us
 7
We already had this discussion
 8
There isnt an "us"
 9
Just
 10
A "we" for "right now"
 11
A "lets see where this goes"
 12
She said that is what she wanted
 13
She says she knows
 14
But
 15
 
 
I try to explain that she really doesnt want me
 16
Im no good for anyone
 17
I dont want to take her down my rabbit hole
 18
She says she knows
 19
But
 20
 
 
I point out how upset she gets if I forget to call her one day
 21
"Are you mad at me"
 22
She asks
 23
"Did I do something wrong"
 24
I remind her that I worked 16 hours today
 25
While waking up to this call
 26
At 4 am
 27
She's back from the pubs
 28
She says she knows
 29
But
 30
 
 
She hovers over me
 31
At social events
 32
 
 
She doesnt mean to
 33
 
 
She claims me
 34
Her territory
 35
In the presence of other women
 36
"Just so they know"
 37
She says
 38
"Know what?"
 39
I ask
 40
"I dont know"
 41
She says
 42
"Yes you do"
 43
"I know"
 44
She says
 45
But
 46
 
 
We cant be "us"
 47
The more she pushes
 48
The further "we" get
 49
From "us"
 50
The closer our "right now"
 51
Becomes to "when"
 52
And continues to slide into "once"
 53
A time when mutual friends take sides
 54
And lines are drawn and crossed
 55
Battles are fought
 56
Won
 57
And
 58
Lost
 59
When no one informed the combatants of participation
 60
 
 
This has fallen before it was built
 61
She says she knows
 62
But
 63
 
 
I just dont see what she sees
 64

24 Jan 07


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(6 more poems by this author)



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I love narratives but not a big fan of a guided tour through a relationship
 — turtlepoet

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