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The "Now" Before The "Then"

She calls
I dont answer
I prefer to call back
Im not sure that I know why
It just seems more right
She wants more from us
We already had this discussion
There isnt an "us"
A "we" for "right now"
A "lets see where this goes"
She said that is what she wanted
She says she knows
I try to explain that she really doesnt want me
Im no good for anyone
I dont want to take her down my rabbit hole
She says she knows
I point out how upset she gets if I forget to call her one day
"Are you mad at me"
She asks
"Did I do something wrong"
I remind her that I worked 16 hours today
While waking up to this call
At 4 am
She's back from the pubs
She says she knows
She hovers over me
At social events
She doesnt mean to
She claims me
Her territory
In the presence of other women
"Just so they know"
She says
"Know what?"
I ask
"I dont know"
She says
"Yes you do"
"I know"
She says
We cant be "us"
The more she pushes
The further "we" get
From "us"
The closer our "right now"
Becomes to "when"
And continues to slide into "once"
A time when mutual friends take sides
And lines are drawn and crossed
Battles are fought
When no one informed the combatants of participation
This has fallen before it was built
She says she knows
I just dont see what she sees

24 Jan 07

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I love narratives but not a big fan of a guided tour through a relationship
 — turtlepoet