poetry critical

online poetry workshop


This is just letting my mind wonder writing random things let me know what you think. This is not like the other 2.

Airplane sound whistles
My head buzzing
My hands bleed
My friends worry
My lies cheat
My mind wanders
what does this mean?
looking for a sign
looking for a place
Is this relevant ?
Is this fate?
Footsteps come closer
People mumble.
Footstrps leave
Left alone yet again
nothing to do
slience sits upon me
my pen moves thoughtless
the knife goes in deep
the note is almost finished
as so is my life.

18 Jan 07

(define the words in this poem)
(2 more poems by this author)

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Interesting, Well since you did say it was only random Ive got to say Im sure you can do better.
I honestly didnt like the writing as a whole but there were some things I wanted to ask, I found line 5 says my lies cheat, How is that so?
 — XxArsonxX

My lies cheat myself. I lie in order to make others feel better. Make myself feel better. They cheat in life. They make me one step higher. When really they should bring me to the bottom for lying but, they bring me to the top to suceed what I want.  
Thank You,
 — Jillian