poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Bitch
unknown

Troublesome words spill
 1
from a toxic mouth,
 2
rat infested letters spell
 3
scummy conversation;
 4
raw humiliation
 5
for those caught
 6
unwittingly, within
 7
the web of the gossip.
 8

16 Jan 07

Rated 5.5 (5.5) by 2 users.
Active (2): 4, 7
Inactive (0):

(define the words in this poem)



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Comments:

Really bad...sorry...I've seen this title 34 times before and the poem is never good. Not one poem with the word bitch in the title, has been good that I've seen so far. This stinks and much as an unAxed armpit. Deoderant enthusiasts will know what I mean. 4/10
 — Henry

well, thanks for the constructive criticism! I am sure to improve with that type of feedback. You are obviously as talented at giving a decent crit as you are at writing poetry. Your school kid way of rating is excellent. like you want to be a teacher and are the class prefect four out of ten boy.
Please come again.
 — unknown

awesome. i feel the same about gossip and i feel that you coveyed it quite well...if only more read this piece. rock on.
 — lanezfairy

hmm sorry i double-commented here lol. re-reading i have a few suggestions. for one, thing maybe you could have changed line 5 since it seemed to me out of places from your beautifully poetic and interesting lines. in lieu of "soul destroying" possibly you could have written "nerve plummeting" or something of that sort (to me soul destroying seemed cliche, and i hate using that word but it seemed unorginial). nonetheless, great poem. rock on.
 — lanezfairy

thankyou lanzefairy for your comments and suggestion. You are right. I appreciate your time.
 — unknown

Pure poison

Larry methalated lark
 — larrylark

thanks larry the sweet little lark.
 — unknown

changed L5, how's that?
 — unknown

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