poetry critical

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Orinoco Flow

Rio Grande did flow beside me
Choosing to depart
Picked up my spade & symphony
For to make a start
Troop along the muddy sludge
For to make me stagger
Swallow a tortoise-shell fudge
To fuel my cloak & dagger
Anger breeds my jealousy
My bitterness & contempt
As I watch the leopards feed
I lay down beside her & wept
She did no wrong at evensong
Her baked cake, bitter stew
I could rejoice at the fish pond
My desires returning anew
Below me, fish boiling in water murky
Bubbling as bitter feuds
I hatch a plan to avoid cold turkey
As I lay among the ruins
Feet on temple step beside me
I capture the epitaph
As I embrace the ecstasy
& rejoice on her behalf
Alas, my pew is bloody still
As I survey the Orinoco Flow
Too late for goodbyes now, Jill
Your fate is at the door

12 Jan 07

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 — unknown

brilliant, I love it!
 — unknown

enya has that same title!  :D  but the poem is.....nothing like the song.  (;  it's an awesome poem..(;
 — ducktape

this is another sucky rhyming poem.
even the ending was predictable
 — unknown