poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Bumble
intract

play
 1
just go
 2
random
 3
no course
 4
no ideas
 5
just flow
 6
let pearls
 7
spill
 8
and glow
 9
like gold
 10
diamond
 11
flakes
 12
tumbling out
 13
go just go
 14
let it freely flow
 15
inside and out
 16
let in bounce
 17
and swirl
 18
let it splash
 19
and twirl
 20
just let it go...
 21

12 Jan 07

Rated 7.5 (7.5) by 2 users.
Active (2): 7, 8
Inactive (0):

(define the words in this poem)
(2 more poems by this author)



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Comments:

this certainly has appeal, with its energetic 'bumble' as you put it. I like this. I don't know why, but I wouldn't change it.
 — Esoteric

Never been a fan of so many line breaks... poets these days just can't seem to make a complete thought out of a sentance.

Still, I like everything else.
 — technomancer

in agreement with the last two replies

definate appeal - something about this reminds me of watching a leaf and its path as it falls from a tree - or children playing

some very beautiful imagery used too

the internal language is very touching indeed
 — Mongrol

was that a gloria estefan song?
go, let it go, let it free your body let it move your soul...
i was hearing that song by the end.
here's a suggestion-
L15-let it free
flow as its own line. here's why-
i read the single words as a separate thing-
play
random
spill
diamond
flakes
(flow)

nifty!
 — chuckles

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