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Caution tape.
Amandine

I am not just a girl
 1
I am a soul
 2
Contorted and mishapen
 3
Into something else,
 4
Yes.
 5
 
 
But a soul nonetheless.
 6
 
 
I have no freedom as I wish
 7
I have a life
 8
And it has boundaries.
 9
Fuck boundaries.
 10
Fuck restrictions.
 11
Maybe I have no life.
 12
 
 
I want to be free
 13
To do what I please
 14
To be who I am without a care.
 15
 
 
I want to be a dove.
 16
Fucking lucky they are, those doves.
 17
In their beauty and grace,
 18
They live they breathe they exist
 19
Without those restrictions
 20
Which consume me.
 21
 
 
Make them go away.
 22
And doves,
 23
fly on.
 24

This one is old.
Kind of loses the meaning at some points, but I still like it.

8 Jan 07

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Comments:

i kept with it, and it flies through, really, more in the air than the walk-y walk you might think it, while looking back. wonderful lyrical first four stanzas, read as one stanza with the break spaces as punctuation; then a reflection stanza: looking around the room at the frescos of doves and taking a meaning from it all, or the sky with doves, or one or two doves walking at your feet. then, a passing back into the poet, telling us we're here and can fly. really... not only about the author you know. this is how i read it, anyway.

nice work.
 — mikebauer

I wish to point out that if you are going to use punctuation, it's good to be consistent with it.  I find the word Fuck useless here, especially when you talk about a dove.  Those words do not go together at all!  

I think you could make this better if you had a strong thought all the way through.  It does, as you mention in the footnote (you don't really need).

I want to tell the person in the poem that all life has some boundaries, learn to live well within them, don't wish for wings if you are not a bird.
 — Isabelle5

she proved herself a bird, floating over dumpster divers and people looking in the bargin bins for stories.
 — mikebauer

She didn't prove anything except that she is not conversant with commas.
 — unknown

thanks mike, i appreciate it.
isabelle- your input is helpful as well, i understand that fuck does not fit perfectly here, thats why i picked it. then again i can see your point as to why i shouldnt use it.
to unknown- the commas are meant to enforce a pause, and hell, maybe even thought.
 — Amandine

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