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Tango till Death
pranav86

He grabbed her
 1
by the waist,
 2
and twisted her world
 3
around, as she
 4
spun about him
 5
 
 
The colors blurred,
 6
and swirled around her
 7
like color dyes thrown
 8
in the water, mixing
 9
like witches oil
 10
 
 
He embraced her,
 11
and touched her lips
 12
like the fair wind
 13
kisses the summer lilac
 14
fleetingly
 15
 
 
She lay on the terrace
 16
moonlight caressing her face,
 17
while the shadows
 18
stood fixed in trance,
 19
scared to destroy this beauty
 20
 
 
*
 21
 
 
The music paced up
 22
He swayed in agony
 23
As she writhed in pain
 24
trying to hold onto him
 25
The dance of their bodies,
 26
 
 
Spark a new life
 27
A new ray of light
 28
amidst the gloom
 29
of her death
 30
Now, she pauses
 31
 
 
The music trembles,
 32
And a cadence of violins
 33
Now rush around them
 34
Overwhelming her into submission
 35
The world sighs
 36
 
 
*
 37
 
 
But soon, new music emerges
 38
from the wellspring of death
 39
It crackles, and laughs
 40
and bounds with joy
 41
And the tango starts again
 42

3 Dec 06

Rated 8.7 (8.7) by 5 users.
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Comments:

Brilliantly written!

Why the cap in The L22?
 — JustineCH

Ooops, sorry, my mistake :) And thanks :)
 — pranav86

You and I seem to have a 'thing' with dancing & death, don't we :-)???
 — JustineCH

Haha, yeah, I absolutely loved your "Dancing for Death". It was very nice.
 — pranav86

Very nice! I love the bright ending.
 — unknown

Amazing! I love the bright ending.
 — unknown

Its pretty, and the ending is nice.
 — rainfall86

This is good. I like the 2nd stanza ... well i GUESS .. a metaphor like 'summer lilac' has been overused by most modern poets. try somethin else..lil creative ... the ending is good .. perfect!
 — trochee

Thanks for the recommendation. I am thinking of a suitable change for that. :)
 — pranav86

This is great. High on intoxicating atmosphere.
 — larrylark

Hi larrylark

You were quite correct in sensing that! I wrote it in a intoxicated state, not alcoholic, under the influence of the music from "Talk to Her" by Alberto Iglesias. B/w Thanks! :)
 — pranav86

oh i love that film.. what did you think of the song inbetween? one with marco and lydia at that party? cant remember who it is by tho..

oh yes!.. the poem... :)
Nice work pranav... a very nice flow..

just one thing.. the 'Now' in line 22 and 38 are a bit distracting.. sounds like a recitation somehow.. see if you can work around it.. might just make it smoother somehow. its just a suggestion ofcourse.
 — insideout

Thanks! I made the changes w.r.t "Now".
 — pranav86

hmmm....so much better!
 — insideout

Phew...Thanks! :)
 — unknown

very descriptive. i enjoyed it... im not getting the whole * thing though..
 — x2jocelyn2x

LOVE IT!

I've tried loads of times to write a poem about the feeling of dancing.. but always found it really hard, proves it can be done to such a good standard. i read the whole thing, which i rarely do xx
 — Bobby

Spun

goddamn. pay attention to grammar.
 — DianaTrees

Don't push God onto the dancefloor! Thanks anyways!
 — rainfall86

Why you thanking? Hehe. Thanks people. change made.
 — pranav86

You certainly do know how to paint a vivid picture with words, good job!.
9/10
 — Unbelievable

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