poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Atonement
unknown

The dark waves sweep over him
 1
As he sits on the dusty
 2
carpet of hate and grief
 3
A razor edge of light
 4
gleams across his wrist
 5
and a red river of grief
 6
pours out
 7
 
 
This story ends today
 8
scattering among
 9
the sands of time
 10
like a necklace of pearls
 11
carelessly broken
 12
 
 
The light shivers and slithers
 13
into a corner
 14
scared of the luminous pain
 15
sitting in the other corner
 16
melting the whole room
 17
 
 
It had to end one day
 18
Today, the earth will turn red
 19
crying itself to rust;
 20
and the golden fields
 21
will melt into brass
 22
 
 
The stars cry all night
 23
to wash his sins,
 24
and still he stinks
 25
of the dirt plastered
 26
on him, and inside him.
 27
He sits rotting away
 28
Atoning for his sins
 29

The title is taken from Ian Mc Ewan's brilliant novel.

1 Dec 06

Rated 10 (10) by 1 users.
Active (1):
Inactive (0): 10

(define the words in this poem)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)
rainfall86



Add A Comment:
Enter the following text to post as unknown: captcha

Comments:

Nice, but really sad.
 — rainfall86

Nice, quite dark. Would you want to develop it further
 — unknown

nice.  I LOOOOOVE the book Atonement (and next summer a movie is coming out of it starring Kiera Knightley!!!) but I don't get how this is at all related to the poem.  It's a well written poem, but your footnote confuses me.
 — OwlGirl

The poem is not related to the book. I just like the title and thought Atonement would be apt.
 — pranav86

Nice..esp. lines 18-27
 — unknown

Thanks!
 — unknown

Very dark. The 4th stanza is particularly nice.

Jake
 — unknown

Thanks.
 — pranav86

Very dark and has a nice atmosphere around it. good.
 — vision440

Thanks!
 — pranav86

Any comments people?!
 — pranav86

nice.
 — listen

0.386s