| on my way to a bike race in colorado springs |
fdostoev
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the hitchhiker
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sat indian style
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on the highway shoulder
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outside of ogallala
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nebraska,
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said
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she was headed
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for los angeles
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to find her sister,
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did i have any smoke?
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or some pills? even just
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an aspirin?
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she fidgeted
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with my radio dial
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and tapped her fingernails
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against her teeth,
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said her name was fox
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she'd been living
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at some commune in
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flint michigan but
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things got heavy,
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she was going
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to open a boutique
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with her sister.
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somewhere past
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the colorado line
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her left hand
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came to rest
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on my thigh,
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three green dots
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were tattooed
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on the pouch of skin
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between her thumb
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and index finger,
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she leaned her head
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against my shoulder
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and slid her hand
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down my pants,
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you don't
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have to.
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don't you think
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i'm pretty?
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its not that,
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i just, i
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didn't give you a ride
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expecting
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something back.
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suit yourself,
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she sat up
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leaned her elbows on the dash
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blew condensation
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onto the windshield
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and played a game of
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tic-tac-toe against
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herself.
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we stopped for gas
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outside denver,
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i stood in line
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at the cash register
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and watched her
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talk up a trucker
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at the diesel pump,
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she grabbed her backpack
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out of my car
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flashed me thumbs up
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through the store window
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and disappeared
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the way we’d come.
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18 Nov 06 |
Rated 9.2 (8.3) by 8 users.
Active (8): 1, 7, 8, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (2): 3, 8
(define the words in this poem)
(87 more poems by this author)
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Add A Comment:
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Comments:
hm. that's a really good, very sad story. i saw it several times before i read it. the title wasn't nearly as interesting as the poem. i give it an 8, though i don't know what i'd do to make it better.
— balancing
I enjoyed this poem and found the title intriguing. Perhaps lines 21-23 could be:
she was going
to open a boutique
with her sister
to avoid repeating 'her' and have stronger line endings. Oh and should be 'too' in line 20. I really enjoy your style.
— kendell
balancing,
kendell,
hello,
thanks for reading,
kendell: i like your take on that line,
justin.
— unknown
you are not a fucking poet fdost, you suck!
meep!
— unknown
whoever rated this 10 needs a kick to the nuts...
— jjjjhyde
a short story with line breaks . . .
— unknown
Not Bad
— unknown
what a shady lady.
i like the story, well done and well developed.
much love all around.
— SweetPain
nice poem.
— hank
easy on the emotions, man. i really like this, you did such a good job at characterization in such few fragile lines ... i just mean, fragile in a way of eloquence. but, that doesn't mean you don't take this matter seriously.
— listen
Ttite, thats my only gripe. Otherwise I like the realism. Nice.
— Andramelach
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