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someone's manhattan
Rixes

no time for drear words, we fly
 1
on a greater plane here like bought machines—
 2
up fifth from 42nd street: hit central
 3
park like bullet fire (the golden
 4
statue gleams in general’s apparel, waiting:
 5
  a horse below, a dove above, a nose well-
 6
  pointed toward the sun).
 7
duck beneath a wayward
 8
bough, round a jew, past the jazz
 9
to find: a cold new york
 10
bench content, and sit til the autumn
 11
dirties your nails.
 12

12 Nov 06

Rated 9.5 (8.5) by 4 users.
Active (4): 8, 9, 10, 10
Inactive (8): 1, 1, 8, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(119 more poems by this author)

(2 users consider this poem a favorite)
Ananke
bettalpha



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Comments:

very descriptive. i like.
 — x2jocelyn2x

Ah, I love this, it is a picture perfect. I would only nitpick on some of the line breaks (such as 8-9), but they still read just fine. I love the parenthetical particularly.
 — Ananke

i love "drear."

this poem is wonderful.

thank you for sharing your words with the world, dear rixes.
 — rosemary

what the other people said and more
 — unknown

brilliant.
 — unknown

great talking machines here
 — crepaway

I love this.
my only suggestion would be to spell-out fourty-second
 — ElegantWaste

I don't like the structure. It's too squashy, too awkward looking. I think that an edit of the structure would make this a lot more accessible and better looking.
 — wendz

...
 — unknown

...
 — unknown

What do you hope to achieve by sabotaging the top rated poems, unknown?  
Rixes does not deserve such treatment.  Look both ways twice before crossing the street.

My 10 will not make up for the 1s, but you have it anyway.
 — unknown

I enjoyed reading this, more than once. I happily give it a 10 and I am delighted it was brought to my attention, by a chancy bump.
 — unknown

no 'the' in 11 maybe and a comma after plane?

your words make my heart beat slower.

i love your poem. you thrum rix.

betty
 — unknown

hmmwellthenyes
what i like-
L2-bought machines
L4-bullet fire
manhattan
MOST of yer line breaks...
what i didn't care fer-
L1-drear words
L4-7---too much happnin' in ( )
L11-line break (iffin that's what y'calls'em)
i'm'a thinkin' it'd loooooook nifty like this:

"bench content, and sit til the autumn"

neat words
 — chuckles

Thank you all for your comments.

I suspect some form of an edit will be on it's way soon.

yours,
rixes
 — unknown

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