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lord knows
sggunal

lord knows
 1
i've been patient
 2
collecting your drops
 3
in teacup laughs
 4
to drink on a
 5
dry day
 6
 
 
lord knows
 7
i've been patient
 8
waiting for that tinge
 9
of your bated breath
 10
to savor on my
 11
cautious tongue
 12
 
 
time takes me everywhere
 13
when i am everyone
 14
 
 
 
 
lord knows
 15
i've been impatient
 16
flipping your pages
 17
with hurried eyes
 18
to pass by
 19
the dull day
 20
 
 
lord knows
 21
i've been impatient
 22
cookie-cutting
 23
your complexities
 24
into narrow
 25
forked paths
 26
 
 
but time takes you everywhere
 27
when you are everyone
 28
 
 
lord knows
 29
i've been patient
 30
gathering twigs
 31
for our cinder truths
 32
to burn on a
 33
cold day
 34
 
 
lord knows
 35
i've been patient
 36
dreaming of
 37
my second coming
 38
to trace me back onto
 39
your saintly skin
 40
 
 
and lord knows
 41
what you and i know
 42
 
 
that time will take us everywhere
 43
when we are everyone
 44

19 Oct 06

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Comments:

Like this a lot.
 — unknown

thank you!
 — sggunal

i like it
 — unknown

thanks.. no suggestions?
 — sggunal

Well, the only mistakes are grammar errors buddy.
 — unknown

i'd love to hear those too!
 — sggunal

awesome, just bloody brilliant
 — unknown

thank you!!
 — sggunal

I like the sense of this but there are some things I will need to come back to, when I have more time.  Think about 'cookie cutting."  I think you need cookie cutter, as when something is stamped out the same, the same, the same...but cookie-cutting isn't working there.  Also, most images of cookie cutting would not be forked and narrow paths.  Could you use slicing with a knife?  
 — Isabelle5

Isabelle, I know what you mean, the word kind of bugs me too.   I was thinking of cookie-cutting in terms of trapping within well-defined, standardized boundaries and having no use for the loose bits..   A template?  I like the ordinary, every-day sound of cookies though, like the paper and twigs and tea...   I could just use 'collapsing' or 'containing'  .. Or reconsider 'narrow forked paths'.. I'll think about it..

Look forward to more input, thanks! :)
 — sggunal

I love it. The only thing that I'd have against it would be the not-capitalizing of the i's. But I'm just picky about that. Overall, like I said, I love it. It's also something that people can relate to.
 — ashley87

Thanks Ashley! :)  I get the beef about capitalizing 'i'... I try not to do it too often or randomly... In a poem at least.  But here it seemed to fit better to not try and set myself apart from any other word in the poem.   I'm glad you liked!!  
 — sggunal

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