| Walmart...It's an emotional time |
jenakajoffer
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If ya'll are missin' your college kids
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or you just ran out of laundry soap-
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or you're tired and lazy
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and find yourself moping,
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you might like to go to Walmart-
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maybe buy a fish for a pet.
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(They have a 7 day guarantee you know).
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If you go to Walmart,
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you might even have a good cry
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in the Bed and Bath section
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if your husband's been a prick.
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Maybe they've rolled back the price of
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flannel sheet sets so when you
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make him sleep on the couch tonight
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you won't feel so bad.
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If you're PMSing and all cranky and bloated
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maybe a trip to the cosmetic department would be a good idea.
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Slimming creams, zit concealers and such.
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The helpful Walmart staff are very familiar
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with the newest line of fragrances too.
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But please don't buy Exclamation!!!
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(it's for your own good).
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See, I always like to eat at the WalMart McDonald's
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cuz it's smaller and has less food choices,
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and if I'm feeling fat that day
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I don't feel as fat.
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I hear that certain locations even have the "lean selections" menu.
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Sorry, still no milkshakes...
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If you have really bad kids like mine that hide in
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clothing racks, or can't find them cuz the lil' bastards have ran off,
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no worries, they have Code ADAM.
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It's Walmart-style lockdown.
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Or, if you're a guy, and hate shopping, well...
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You can always watch tear-jerking Disney movies on HD tv,
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besides, I think you could get a video game
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for a good deal.
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Then you wouldn't be so bored at home if your wife
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wants you to watch stupid shows like
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America's Next Top Model.
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(Hey, I think they sell the whole season there)!
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Ahh Walmart... it's an emotional time.
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14 Oct 06 |
Rated 7.8 (8.3) by 13 users.
Active (13): 1, 3, 3, 6, 8, 8, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (3): 10, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(16 more poems by this author)
(2 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Add A Comment:
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Comments:
hehehe I actually quite like this, despite the fact that there are no walmarts in Britain, I imagine it as a kind of tacky woolworths kind of place...
— unknown
great stuff.
— bleach
london!
— slowtesque
what a cute poem, I think its neat that u can write such good poems about the most simple things.I look forward to your next posting....
— eurobaby
stockholm!
— saysayonara
antm wouldn't be so
bad if there were good-
lookin' women...
— unknown
o this is so funny It says exactly why i avoid places like this
— tanamac
welcome to Thunderdome b* . . . very powerful, an emotional rollercoaster.
— unknown
some fun ideas in this one! original topic.
— modern_nomad
hi nomad,
I'm glad you saw some fun in this,
since you disliked my cheese poem so.
=-)
(retarded for this to be in recent best, I mean...really)
tongue-stickin-out
— jenakajoffer
hahaha. love it, my family being your standard set of poor rednecks from down south, you can imagine what big of a role wal mart plays in their lives.
— chloee
Mark downs are happening all over the store . . . hey, it's even being done on this post. This poem should definitely go in the Clearance section.
— unknown
th' clearance section...
oftentimes th' best bargoons(VALUE)
are to be had there
this thingymagizmo is absolooooooooooooooooootely
slaptacular...
-c
— unknown
maybe buy a fish for a pet. 6
For the cat, dog or the budgie?
— unknown
This is cute! Walmart always somehow cheers me up when I'm PMS'n even though I'm a guy, but I still have MY moments too!
— starr
Starr, what a cute comment...I joke about men having pms too, it happens from time to time, =-)
Thank ya for visiting my silly 'ol ditty.
Jen-
— jenakajoffer
c-
you are absoloooooootely
extravagantly sweet.
— jenakajoffer
this sux
— unknown
try laughing cranky pants
jen-
— unknown
I just had the best laugh, this is super!
— unknown
this is so funny, original to for probably a universal topic, good job!
I think i dig all yore poems!
— unknown
Very funny. I like it a lot. You did a very nice job.
— MysteryMan
thanks unknown(s),
and MMan for your comments!
=-)
— jenakajoffer
funny and insightful, I love the sarcasm in this writing and me being a loyal Wal Mart shopper, I can totally relate. I just wish you would have personalized it a bit more rather than narrative.
— gjenkins
thank you g, I'm glad you liked it.
walmart continues to be a place for emotional times.
Happens all the time, then I laugh.
Get ready for Christmas everyone, whew, a holiday walmart poem might be a hit.
Haha, !!!!
— jenakajoffer
so ya thinks ya figgered
it oot, does ya?
we'll see tonite
when the answer
i reveal to you...
love this poem
by the way
xox
— chuckles
Ah wow. Awesome poem. Vair funny. And true.
— unknown
This is really entertaining, very humorous!
— unknown
wal-mart is one of my favorite places on earth. everything you've said here is true and easy to relate to, and I loved your touching immortal tribute to a place as awesome as wal-mart.
— EchoesRemain
it's partially phonetic.
especially the title...
— chuckles
choodles, how so?
me not know...
Echoes, unknowns, chuckie,
thanks for loving the mall-wart.
Jen-
— jenakajoffer
i was explaining for you because you said i never explain
anything...
so now you know
— chuckles
The piece is funny, the sarcasm works - but it is prose put in the form of a poem. Sorry
— unknown
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