| just drink a lot of water |
OKcomputer
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candles, softly wasting. i think
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1 |
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it indicates change, some dream
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2 |
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has passed, some twisted bone
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twisting back.
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4 |
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everyone has a sore throat,
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feeling heavy,motionless.
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lying around on the floor
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in a pile of people,
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limbs protruding here and there
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breathing slowly and
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slightly ill-fitted
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with red faces.
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gripping one another
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trying to reverse
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what's plural.
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there is what seems to be
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a forest fire
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outside of the window,
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peeping in
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on the sleepers,
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moving quickly and fevered,
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licking trees.
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it is probably the end of the world.
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we groan.
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someone shifts. exhales.
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the sun swings in
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through the crooked blinds.
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I reach for someone particular
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in brown corduroys, bare torso,
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inanimate, dead --
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and i pull him closer
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pushing my face against
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the back of his neck, inhaling.
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i cannot swallow without aching
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and sadness, vaguely.
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some swollen red flesh
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pulsating. everyone feels it.
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it hurts.
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13 Oct 06 |
Rated 10 (7.4) by 5 users.
Active (5): 6, 10, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (4): 1, 3, 3, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(30 more poems by this author)
(2 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Comments:
This poem is appealing. yet somewhat confusing. i think you should be more direct with the actions going on in the poem. especially at the end. Good work though. I like the format and punctuation.
— x2jocelyn2x
you are and make beautiful
it is a wonderful thing that you lend us
favorited
— onklcrispy
I second onkle's comment, you beatiful, beautiful thing
there with you, all the way with the line breaks, the choice of words, the plethora of emotional and physical states ...
This is wonderful, allows for sharing ... though perhaps only a groan
"licking trees" is fantastic
Thank you, thank you
maria
— slancho
y'all might wanna try
a greasy meal f'r brekkie...
this is just too good (and i don't
even like readin')
one suggestion-i'd'a be remoooooooooovin'
L19,20-peeping????
this poem would not mourn th' loss
of that image...
well done
— chuckles
this is my favorite poem i have written.
— OKcomputer
I really liked reading this, intresting and entertaining
— blinddarksun
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