poetry critical

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We wrap these words

We wrap these words
so hard and tight
round open wounds,
near broken pride.
Quick ball them up
to throw around and then:
They come back lost.
No one even caught them.


5 Oct 06

Rated 7 (7.5) by 1 users.
Active (1): 7
Inactive (1): 8

(define the words in this poem)
(1 more poem by this author)

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lumps in throats, swallowed pride
blinked back tears and so it died.
will it returneth with-with  great flairith
or will it just die and will nobody care if
 — john_daker

Thank you so much for the exceedingly positive comment!
 — mrfox

Youe use of enjambement adds to the titles meaning. I like the way words can have new meaning upon seeing/hearing them again.
Although this poem looks awkward in written form, I found it worked very well when spoken aloud. I enjoyed this.
 — gogo

Cool poem
 — unknown

irate notes, idle pride
John Daker wrote (he's so alive!)
'will it returneth with-with great flairith'?
well here are some lines, let's see if he tears it.
 — mrfox

This is pretty good, and that's saying something from me becuase I normally don't like short poems.
 — mylifestyle

Thanks for the comment
how would you fix it up so it's remarkable?
 — mrfox