Written In The Stars |
opal
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While we stand side by side,
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looking toward the night sky
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and tasting frost on our lips,
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I attempt to identify the different
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constellations for you.
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I calculatedly select stars
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for their symbolic relevance.
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That one could be Perseus, the hero
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and look, nearby waits Andromeda.
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That stellar line symbolises
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the rock she sat on, waiting
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to be rescued from Lacerta, see -
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the giant lizard to the right.
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Your wonder at my knowledge
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makes me smile, but my faith
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in the patterns of the skies
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tells me I might be right.
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Turn around and there we are.
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All that Sagittarius has to do
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to reach Aquarius and her elusive
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heart, is to fire his archer's arrow
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straight over Capricorn; now,
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how long have we been together
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for you to know that must be true?
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If you look long and hard
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and follow your intuition,
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you'll know our love
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was always written in the stars.
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9 Aug 06 |
Rated 8.5 (7.8) by 10 users.
Active (10): 1, 4, 6, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (8): 3, 5, 7, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(74 more poems by this author)
(3 users consider this poem a favorite)
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Add A Comment:
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Comments:
Bravo. nice use of the constellations. very good. i approve. yee-haw. lol
— unknown
I attempt to comment but find I can't, a dumb-struck 10
— Meep
Beautiful...
— Nostalgia
Having just read this I wish I could offer something a little more constructive: yes it's a little cheesy, perhaps clichéd, definitely romantic. Yet it is strangely captivating and thoroughly enjoyable.
Rgds
hobby
— hobby
fire the arrow to the cheesey moon.
— unknown
we're in a middle of the chapter
we did read from the stars
pages are missing
torn from my heart
(I like last two lines)
— Jerry33
love's just and universes provides explanation, good poem
— gjenkins
This just flows right along without a hitch, beginning to end. I am so impressed and so delighted to find a poem that is rich in imagery and real things but with a heart beating fast and deliciously in the background of it all.
Thank you for this.
— Isabelle5
Ah, another goddess has written a gem.
— Isabelle5
wow...secrets not so far-fetched in the unconscious.
— C
This poem is like a rose ready to bloom with elegant beauty. (which I'm sure it already has).
— unknown
Opal is gifted and lovely.
Of course I only assume lovely, but I feel my money is safe on that one.
— unknown
Beautifully written, an instant favourite.
— sybilvane
L4, needs a comma after the first to
I'm a Capricorn, but us Caps are far too practical to believe in all that Astrological nonsense ;)
Enjoyed the poem ty.
— unknown
Thanks aybil - favouritism is good in this case!
— opal
Unknown - i was a bit mystified by the comma remark and 2 tos had appeared by accident, so I think the alteration renders the comma superfluous. The Aquarian speaking in the poem is also gently mocking 'the stars' but they are slightly mystical so embrace most philosophies just in case. I know well about Capricorns - having 2 Capricorn children myself.
— opal
this is terribly corny and will be toprated because most people are pathetic
an honest opinion which is pending crucifiction
st3nt
— unknown
I like honest opinions st3 - I'd take issue with you about 'corny' though. I don't think it quite reaches those dizzy heights - loving someone and expressing it with humour isn't pathetic - there is some corny stuff on this site - didn't you write some of it? ( I am however prepared to be indulgent and won't crucify you today).
— opal
I watched it rise and fall from 1 to 14 on the top-rated list. It's not the only one, your work st3nt?
— unknown
Obviously unknown - st3nt is obviously a bear of very little brain.
— opal
But honest opinions - let's not forget that.
— opal
I see nothing wrong with st3nt being honest, it's quite refreshing in a way. I'm just curious as to whether she, or someone else, toppled this poem from first place. I was reading poems in the Top Rated and Recent Best lists, when the order of the poems drastically started changing. It was particularly noticeable because it happened so quickly, and no comments were left on any of the poems but this one.
— unknown
i did not rate this poem. i do not rate poems numerically. this poem falls on its own merits.
a falling star
xox
st3nt
— unknown
Thanks for the answer st3nt. Someone else then ...
— unknown
It's fine that st3 doesn't like it and a bit of banter is always welcome - I realise now it wasn't him - I know who it is - an idiot with a grudge who has a very bad reputation - still I take it as a compliment and I give as good as I get.
— opal
>Unknown - i was a bit mystified by the comma remark and 2 tos had appeared >by accident, so I think the alteration renders the comma superfluous. The >Aquarian speaking in the poem is also gently mocking 'the stars' but they are >slightly mystical so embrace most philosophies just in case. I know well about >Capricorns - having 2 Capricorn children myself.
Opal, the 2nd 'to' was there for so long i started to think you meant it as a word stumble. No harm done :)
— unknown
This poem's really cool in the astronomical sense. I like it. Check out on Beyonce's first CD, "Dangerously in Love," a song called, "Signs." It's a sweet (like this poem) trip through the zodiac. If someone wrote me poems like these, I'd marry 'em in a New York minute!
— starr
Well, the night may be cold, and a certain frost lingers upon the lips of the observers.
Nevertheless, despite the calculations apparent, in the observations of the night sky.
The writer has ignored the base verb calculate which has been replaced by the adverb calculatedly,an adjective?.
Calculate being the present estimate formed in the mind by comparing the present and various factors, which influence its determination.
As calculated is the past participle of the base verb calculate
The term “I calculatedly select stars” finds little favour as to which sense you are relating too.
Even the doubtful adverb lends little to the projected scene.
Calculated as an act of precipitation perhaps.
Apart from that, it is nice enough as a preambular advisement to poetry.
Mor.
— Mor
calculatedly = Made or planned to accomplish a certain purpose; deliberate.
— opal
Calculate, to make a computation
The action of computing or estimating the various circumstances, which concur to influence the mind in forming it determinations.
Calculated is the past action utilised in forming a determination
Adding the suffix ly to calculated does not alter the past premise
of a calculation already completed therefore in order to make sense
you must have pre-selected your stars, other wise your calculated action was in fact never completed.
Mor.
— Mor
i disagree mor. the adverb takes on the tense of the verb, in this case "select" which is in the present tense. therefore, calculatedly is used in the present, and in effect means in the process of 'calculating'.
— unknown
Surely select is a transitive verb.
Mor.
— Mor
Yes, calculatedly is an adverb. Adverbs can be used with transitive and intransitive verbs alike. To do something in a calculated way = to do something calculatedly. Enough now. The green bus will be along soon.
— opal
Hi Opal,
I am getting a bit too old to jump on the roof of double deck buses, however green they may be.
Can I not just sleep on the back seat like any other self respecting drunk?
Mor
— Mor
Whilst we are waiting on the green bus,
I was reflecting on line two, in particular to the word toward.
Now I am probably quite wrong on this but I have always used toward in the singular and towards in the plural.
Shakespeare I believe also considered such an expediency to be correct.
For example.
“The waves makes towards the pebble shore”.
Were as Swift adjoined with
“I am toward nine years older since I left you”
Spencer too supported Swift with his immortal lines
“ approaching near; his toward peril “
Whilst Shakespeare retorts
“Why that is spoken like a toward prince”
Whilst Clarendon initially supports Shakespeare.
“This is the first alarm England received towards any trouble”
Mor.
— Mor
hmm
skies?
where do live?
— chuckles
Also, where do you live? Skies? Hmm?
— chuckles
Well, English is a foreign language to me, but for some reason the application of the perfect tense, past, present and future appears to have gone slightly awry.
However, if you where to be, aboard a satellite, you could possibly see all the skies.
It just depends on where and from which point you make your observations from.
Mor.
— Mor
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