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Feeling 'Frosty'
Isabelle5

I was feeling adventuresome
 1
after reading Robert Frost,
 2
so I took a walk into the woods
 3
and found the road less traveled.
 4
I should have taken along a map
 5
'cause what I got was lost
 6
as my sense of direction rapidly unraveled.
 7
 
 
Well, Emily can cry “World, World,”
 8
and wish to hold it close
 9
but I should not have done the same
 10
with the pretty plant I found.
 11
(The doctor gave me Benadryl
 12
in one gigantic dose
 13
and warned me “Next time leave
 14
the poison ivy on the ground!”)
 15
 
 
When darkness started coming down,
 16
caught me in the trees,
 17
I did not go gently into that good night,
 18
and as the branch I grabbed
 19
just happened to house a nest of bees,
 20
believe me, I was raging
 21
against the dying of the light.
 22
 
 
I finally found my way back home
 23
and don’t plan to go back.
 24
Only pioneers, not poets,
 25
should wander off the beaten track.
 26

29 Sep 03

Rated 8.4 (7.1) by 13 users.
Active (13): 6, 7, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10
Inactive (24): 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(160 more poems by this author)

(6 users consider this poem a favorite)
gem_grrrl
JerryReed
meghanmidget
rob
SoDelGirl
witness



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Comments:

too funny
 — Ananke

I bet even Robert Frost thought twice of that path when it gave him the inspiration for the larger thought...
 — unknown

I did mean to put my name on this as the writer. Not sure why I didn't. Isabelle
 — Isabelle5

Isabelle, you wrote this? This is so different from your other stuff... really really hilarious, and the rhyming is fantastic; it never comes out forced. Is this satire poetry? I don't know what to call it...
 — root

I think this is sonnet form ie ABAB CDCD EFEF GG.

Maybe not, either way, it was fun to write. Nothing serious, just a bit of humor for a change.
 — Isabelle5

what a laugh Isabelle, there aren't many things by other people I wish I'd written, but this is one.
Susanna
 — unknown

Light, funny, and refreshing.
 — boothben

Isabelle - I like all your work but this is one of your best! Love it. -Sam
 — unknown

Fun to read.
 — quiddity

something you just proplt wrote for a laugh but no offence i don't think it would win any award maby the one for the wrote for fun section HA HA
 — unknown

Sorry I missed it earlier, Isabelle. Very nice. rob
 — unknown

a nice tributal poem, vivid and coherent
 — Caducus

flows nicely. Keep writing; always keep writing.
 — TaylorC

more yawns
 — unknown

This makes me long for my youthful days when I wandered the hills of The Island of the Misfit Toys...Undulating Hortzbak Ubersmile.
 — onklcrispy

Is,

This is really cute! Needs a bit a attention to the rhythm - but gave me a giggle.
 — ka

it's funny, but are you sure that's what rob had in mind?
 — unknown

yea buddy!
 — meghanmidget

Interesting read Isabelle...this reminded me of a poem I wrote. you can read it here
http://www.authorsden .com/visit/viewpoetry.asp?AuthorID=11577&id=130793
Thanks for your comment in my work!!

Skippy
 — skippy

Dear Isabelle5

i really like the dark humour and the poetic allusions in this painful,well it sounded like a painful journey,poem.
 — larrylark

I love this.  Esp. the use of the poets, Robert Frost, Emily Dickinson, Dylan Thomas...  my favorites.  

The only suggestion I'd make is to change the title.  It just doesn't feel fitting for this poem.
 — honeypot

Ha...once again, your wit is a gem!  I like your work.
 — dionnefields

i think i just peed myself.
 — noodleman

Please post details on the message board!  Pictures would be helpful!
 — unknown

your choppy and not well thought out.
 — unknown

Hahaha.
 — midare

I really like this poem, it's really clever. I like how you didn't convolute it with dense metaphors, it's simple but also witty.
 — Chobo

wooooo!
 — unknown

responding: by delicate I mean to suggest well-chosen and deceptive
 — In_Relief

ryc: I'm trying to reimagine the sun, its light watering the plants of earth.
 — In_Relief

Great--change nothing... except maybe line 6.
 — In_Relief

This is really good. Very clever, and the rhyme scheme actually works. I gave it a 9, instead of a 10, only because you are manipulating other's words, instead of writing it completely by yourself.

But that is by the by, not really a criticism or anything.
 — Lia

There is nothing new under the sun.  I see changes I could make but not this morning, I'm still on "in bed" time.
 — Isabelle5

lol, i know what you mean.

appearently, a story i wrote has the same kind of plot as some movie i havent even seen. but, at least i know its a good enough idea to have a film made of it ;)
 — Lia

hehe. clever and fun. made me smile.
 — SteelAngel

reply: i have a thing about editing poetry.
i dont do it.

i think poetry is for the minutes in which it is written.
go back and change it and it will loose the feel you were first going for.

...but maybe thats just me.

aaand the no i didnt mean intimate...
read the perks of being a wallflower...
then you'll understand. ::wink::

thanks for the comment!
<33xoxo
 — colormetink

well lady this has nothing 2 do with your poem...
what i want 2 no is: how cum i dont hav people riting poetry for me???
 — nikitasarin

I like the integration of famous poets and the contemporary relevance that you have given to old words.a  Just goes to show that it can be done.
 — unknown

Thank you for all the new comments.  This continues to be one of my own favorites.  I had fun writing it and I still have fun reading it, although the urge to edit is always lurking around the edges.  If I touch it, it will change it so I read quickly and close!

Imc
 — Isabelle5

Ok, you've never been in the woods; that much is clear.
Also, you mistake your artistry, would one suffer to call it that,  for comprehending artists.
Frost's "road less traveled" was both roads.  Read it again.
And Emily...
To address her by her first name speaks of untamable pride, considering the fact that you called "Robert"  frost.  

World, World, I cannot get thee close enough!

Ain't that the truth.  And god speed, inadequacy.
 — yeesher

you should probably not make rude remarks,
they'll always come back to you
 — nicolecote

I was raised on a farm and always had forest around me.  I'm sure Robert and Emily don't care what we call them, as long as we still appreciate their poetry.

Thanks for reading.  
 — Isabelle5

Overall, I think this is one of your best efforts.
 — unknown

Ha!

Man, reading that's quite a breath of fresh air.  well written!
 — Soliloquy

HAHAHA!  Thank you.  I forgot all about this old piece!
 — Isabelle5

Isabelle, have you ever noticed that nobody suggests any revisions to your poetry? Maybe it's because you're so damned good.

However, I'm going to break the tradition.

The first stanza is the only one with rhyme that feels...wrong. Maybe fix the rhythm by making it:
As my sense of direction
too-rapidly unraveled.

Also, put the word "It" at the beginning of line 17, the rhythm will improve.
Make "don't" in 24 into something with two syllables, i.e. "do not". Another rhythm fix.

The concept is gorgeous, I love it. With a couple of revisions, it'll earn top marks. 9 for now.

[Teo]
 — teo_omega11

Nobody suggests revisions?  Oh, if that were true!  hahaha  Let me think about this and see if I can make that first stanza better.  Thanks for that, check out your Entangled for my comment.  (wink - you got what you asked for on the comment board..haha)
 — Isabelle5

haha this is good. And thanks for the comment! can i get your advice on something? in my poem 'cover up isnt only for acne' if i change the line to portray, do you think i should keep the rhyming scheme and find something to rhyme with it or just end it there. very good poem btw....its very funny. keep up the good work!
 — Imperfect

frosty rhymes
with saucy.  and this is neither.  plagiarism approaching nonsense.
 — bluesology

Plagarism?  Of whom and what work?  I've never seen this anywhere before and I don't like being accused without proof, thanks.
 — Isabelle5

Is it just me or does the versification of this poem fluctuate frequently (I am actually asking and not trying to be coy)?
 — Fox

this isn't 'plagarism.'  though, you might avoid in the future copying lines verbatim.
 — bluesology

I like lines 8-11 in particular
 — propoet50

Mediocre at best, 2nd verse is choppy.  Imagery doesn't really work.
 — unknown

Mediocre?  Hmmm, I don't agree.  I still consider this one of my own favorites, as it's light, witty, definitely poetry based and it's a spoof on a lot of things.  Not everyone's taste, I'm sure, but I still remember how much fun it was to write.
 — Isabelle5

I love that Frost poem, but I think I like yours even more! Very clever and just what Ananke said!
 — callingcard

The numerous literary references would feel forced and camp in anything but this. Often when the references run rampant, it's due to someone wishing to demonstrate their lyrical prowess, but this has the charm of a 'wink wink, nudge nudge" inside joke with the knowing reader, rather than an overt demonstration of one's knowledge.

It's charming.
 — WindingRhyme

Come on, that's not the right resolve to have. It's neat but not open enough. Maybe you need a new guide (without and/or within)? - C
 — unknown

The fourth stanza reads as a run-on sentence.

Isabelle: the one who complains on lack of capitalization, but doesn't know her own grammar.

Yes. Mediocre, even if it is your favorite.
 — unknown

Hmmm. This wasnt half bad I guess.
As you already know this isnt what Im use to reading or writing.
You dont like me do you?
Anyways regardless of everything else Ill give you a 8.
 — XxArsonxX

What?  The 4th stanza is two sentences, how is that a run-on sentence?  I certainly do know my grammar, Unknown, do you know what a run-on sentence is?  I'm REALLY weary of comments on the poet instead of the poem.  
 — Isabelle5

love this one
 — unknown

hahaha!  Thanks!  I was bike riding Tuesday night and got lost trying to get home!  I wonder if I can get OnStar for the bicycle!
 — Isabelle5

I felt frosty once...my hands were so warm and I felt her so sensually, she melted.
 — Henry

Wow, moderator in action!  I didn't know this was infected so thank you very much!

Imc
 — Isabelle5

Sorry to not comment, but I need to fly home for the holidays. I did respond to you though and I appreciate the time you spent on my words. take care.
 — Notecompsure

It would appear you were out to insult on my poem. Some advice for you: Don't trash another poet's writing because you don't understand it, or because the style isn't something that you approve of as a normal, "good" style. If you'd like to discuss the poem, that's one thing, but telling me that it's "bad" is another completely.
 — Jakle1111

Why would someone discuss their poem on this one?  If you have a problem with my comments, this isn't the place to moan about it.  Learn the manners of the site before you try that.  
 — Isabelle5

You suck. This poem sucks. You are a whore. Go back to South America, Bitch.
 — unknown

Gee, what a helpful comment, Unknown!  It's good to know I'm a whore and all this time, I thought I was in the US.  I should go get my shots, huh?

ps - I do suck, very well.  Something YOU will never experience personally.
 — Isabelle5

This comment has been suspended by a moderator.

Come suck this dick, Isabelle. Call me. My # is 574-282-2497. Name your price and I'll pay it.
 — unknown

And another of my poems is desecrated by words of utter bad taste.  If the moderators find this, I hope they will delete it.  Whoever did that is disgusting.  
 — Isabelle5

You fucking whore bitch. Go fuck your grandson again.
 — unknown

you need to find the poem in this... though i understand that it's only meant as fun verse. but, if you could find the serious intent behind this as a poem, and not simply as an attitude towards the reader, you'd tighten this up. the rhythm sense is forced into the constraints of the message... the last stanza is a disaster in this way, the four lines not being friendly to each other... not scanning except through the pressure of having to be a sentence. that's not poetry or even good verse.
 — mikebauer

Mike, get over yourself!  Unless you can prove to all of us that you have all the answers, stop this attempt to be "the poet royale" of this site!
 — Isabelle5

Mike, get over yourself!  Unless you can prove to all of us that you have all the answers, stop this attempt to be "the poet royale" of this site!
— Isabelle5

so, you want to be the one to tell us how to punctuate and capitalize, but you don't want to be the one to be told that you're not as good a writer as you think, and you want to destroy the critic with cute comments like this, rather than thinking that there might be something to what i say? that's kind of childish of you. you notice that your comments on other's work is very primitive: blurting of ironic label bordering on the sarcastic. i've not seen you give anyone a review as helpful as the one i gave for this poem. your review of my work was very low quality writing and review.
 — mikebauer

Mike, this poem was written in 2003.  I am not going to go back NOW and revise it, I like it the way it is.  It said what I meant to say, it still stands up for itself.

I do not consider myself (or anyone else here) to be the final word on anything.  We can only try with what we know.  Stop taking it so personally or you will not survive here.  It's supposed to be fun, did you know that?  No one here is aspiring to be Poet Laureate that I know of.
 — Isabelle5

LOL. now, isabelle... can we say "disingenuous"? seriously, your writing begs for recognition from the reader; you want the reader to appreciate you, not your sentiments. you're in the game, but you're playing coy -- all your poems are out there, and they will be read by different people with different educations and sensibilities. you didn't write them for me, but there here to be commented on by me, and that's how it is in these sites.

mike

"I do not consider myself (or anyone else here) to be the final word on anything.  We can only try with what we know.  Stop taking it so personally or you will not survive here.  It's supposed to be fun, did you know that?  No one here is aspiring to be Poet Laureate that I know of.
— Isabelle5"
 — mikebauer

Perhaps you should call a stone a stone, Mike, and not try to assign traits to me.  You can't possibly do it correctly.

I am not disengenuous, ever.  What I am is what I am, plain and simple.  Do I post to be read?  YES!  Do I hope readers like my stuff?  YES!  I don't deny that, this is a posting place.  I take suggestions quite often.  Not sure why you want to suck my neck but I assure you, I have nothing to hide and no game to play.

Imc

ps - even if my nickname is Poetry goddess...hahaha
 — Isabelle5

well, i thought it was something like that, and it's not so interesting to me, these personae; i don't get involved in the hidden mystery of the writer, only the poem.
 — mikebauer

i like your references, but some lines seem too, literal? It's a forest. I want mystery
 — jezkuh

simply undivine

too literal slight entertainment
i find the bible more humorous
 — unknown

Poets can't be pioneers too? Drat.
 — rocket

I love humor and this poem was no exception.  Drawing in lines/words from a couple famous poets added a cleverness that I found quite charming.  
 — PeggyParis

Poem is a pleasure to read. Most of the comments are not.
 — JerryReed

the rhyme scheme in the first and last stanza are brilliant.
 — SenorSin

Do you think Pelican ever left us, Isabelle?
 — unknown

Pelican?  Has left my mind, at least.  Who is Pelican?
 — Isabelle5

Pelican is the pc protector of the innocent. Or so he says. He raised hell a year ago and then went quiet for many months. Now he seems to be back.
 — unknown

I'm stunned at the idea of any innocents here.  Young ones, certainly.  I would not want my 11 year old grandchild to come visiting here.  
 — Isabelle5

Pelican seems to think MelissaK is innocent. Where the hell have you, been Isabelle? Don't you know whats been happening lately? Do you remember pelican from last year?
 — unknown

Pelican is Isabelle's exhusband.
 — unknown

No, she likes her fur the way it is, thanks.
 — Isabelle5

i wish i had commented on this sooner. i'd read it before but hadn't responded. considering this was your first poem, you deserve some kind of response from a fan.

i guess you use allusions all the way through, from different writers i assume, but if not, why did you use Dylan Thomas when the poem was related to Frost? i don't understand why that wasn't repeated.

but anyway, it's probably because you also alluded to other poets, and i'm just ignorant of it. anyway, i like this.
 — listen

Actually, listen, it's because I'M ignorant of who is who!  hahaha

I was just having fun when I wrote this.  I love to laugh and if I can write something witty without using bathroom words, I do!
 — Isabelle5

Is pelican really your ex-hubby?
 — unknown

hey isabelle5 i really liked this poem... srry wht i said to u i had no reason 2, well i did and here it is,
i got so bla cause ive never been told that i needed to change my poetry or tht some1 thought it didnt really make a poem
i thought i was good at poetry but i m not but tht doesnt meen tht im goin 2 stop just meens thanks 4 opening my eyes to another part of this complicated world,
and i would like it if u would plz to comment on wht i could do better with my poetry plz and thank you
sincerly,
writtenbylove
 — writenbylove

OOOOuuoo! Bravo. Loved it! And unpoetic of me as it may be (although I just rhymed), I can't stand Frost. Bleh! *makes face* The tongue-in-cheek tone of this is perfect. Sometimes I wonder if all poets take themselves and everything too seriously, but this reaffirmed my faith that we can laugh too. Good with the rhyming, too--I just looked up and realized it, I had no idea as I was reading.  Yay for humor made of classics. May we all be so lucky.
 — gem_grrrl

very good, very rarely you come cross poetry like this
 — DavidLoath

nice references, obviously well read poet. however one change i might suggest is in line 6 - "cause", change to because. cause is too casual and in my opinion it drags down the poem
 — unknown

Unknown, thank you for commenting about cause in line 6.  Of course it must be 'cause.  This is a breezy poem and because does not fit that line as well as 'cause.  I appreciate that you noticed and took the time to state your view.

I still like reading this!  hahaha It's one of the few I have memorized.  
 — Isabelle5

izzy, y r u being so mean? i thought u loved me?


ps this is gooooood!   ~AZpoo~
 — AZpoo

I'll love you more if you never call me Izzy again!  hahaha
 — Isabelle5

I needed a laugh and you definitely gave me one!  Please pass the Benadyl 'cause I fear I've got poison ivy growing in my lilac bushes!  
 — PeggyParis

Oh, thank you.  I wish we had more humor on PC.  This was so easy and so much fun to write.  
 — Isabelle5

This poem isn't the best. You should try harder. I've read better. You really need to get yourself together!
 — unknown

Can't please everyone, right?  I'm happy with this.
 — Isabelle5

Your piece reminded me of so many familiar lines from poems and poets that I once read but couldn't remember by who or when. You really chose to write it this way?
 — JoelJosol

Joey, are you asking if I wrote it or if I copied it?  I didn't copy it, if that's what you're asking.  
 — Isabelle5

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