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The darkness of the night washes out
my surroundings.
No where to run,
No where to go.
Everything is quiet;
Except for your moans
and my screams.
I roll around to free myself,
but you slam my body down.
You take me,
and everything I once had.

12 Jul 06

Rated 6 (8) by 1 users.
Active (1): 6
Inactive (2): 8, 10

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One of the better ones.  This is a goddam poem, people.
 — Nathaniel

Thank you :)
 — forevergone

Any more comments :]
 — forevergone

Nice work!
 — batonball

Thanks! lol
 — forevergone

MMM I need more comments on this.

I Hate asking but...please =]
 — forevergone

line 2 - takes in your surroundings?  How does darkness do that?  You can take in your surrounding, the darkness is part of what you take in, what you notice, isn't it?

Everything is quiet
except for your moans
and my screams.

If you mean rape, I take exception to the last line.  You still have your life, from what you show us in the poem.  
 — Isabelle5

Yea...I changed the first two lines. And of course the poem is abour rape, Moans and screams and slamming, I would say so.  And yes, I do have my life, but this about the man taking away the woman's...inside. All personality is gone. The man took what she used to be and she changed into someone else.
 — forevergone

pretty alright!
 — themorrigan

lol thanksss.
 — forevergone

This is a song, Plagarizer.
 — unknown

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