poetry critical

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something about burning

We've over romanticized the strangest things.
We make wishes on shooting stars,
But oh, just think about it for a moment:
There is nothing glamorous about burning,
About vanishing in a brilliant three-second tribute
To futility,
And perhaps living a moment more,
If only to experience the euphoria
Of plunging into infinite blackness
And abysmal blue;
At the exact same time
Both definitively separate,
And yet swirled together in a conglomerate
Of undeniable terror and splendor.
See, the thing most marvelous about dying is
You never really know
Which one brings the tears to your eyes:
The pain of letting go,
Or the beauty of release.
And the wonder of living is not in the stretch of years,
It is the last few seconds of blazing bliss
When you realize
Exactly why you're engulfed in flames,
Exactly what you knew all along
You'd be willing to burn for.
I'd incinerate myself for you.

7 Jun 06

Rated 7.7 (7.7) by 3 users.
Active (3): 8, 10
Inactive (0): 5

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this is an incredibly powerful poem! You explored a thought that probably hasn't dawned on many people.  I am very impressed.  It deserves nothing less than a 10.  CHANGE NOTHING!
 — OwlGirl

Death is death. Pain is pain.

When people are in supposed love. They would not say, "Well, I would not drown for you, but yeah, maybe I would get bludgeoned for you."

You say "there is nothing glamorous about burning" and I know you don't believe it. Why? Because you wrote a poem about burning. You used "brilliant," "splendour," "marvelous," "euphoria" all denoting a sense of awe. And while awe is not glamorous on its own, it is but a few small steps to glamorous.

I like the irony in the first line.

You failed in the end. You were like, " I have something smart to say, here, let me just say it." Line 15 starts this plunge, fix it or delete it.

In the end, penises have been severed under better poetic pretenses. In this poem, the author cannot be trusted, and while that may work in other poems where the trust of the author is the exact issue, it does not work in this poem because you really just want to convey the horror of burning and therefore the sacrifice one must accept to have to burn for someone else. The irony in line one may be enjoyable but undermines your entire message. The idea of "nothing glamorous" is contradictied by the whole poem.
 — pra3torian

yeah this is very powerful.  wow strong.
 — sarahjoie

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 — unknown