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A birds eye view

Our love is
My ebb
To your flow
And today
The tide is out

24 May 06

Rated 9 (8.4) by 4 users.
Active (4): 5, 8, 9, 10, 10
Inactive (3): 7, 8

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(11 more poems by this author)

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(: very simple but i like the feeling this makes
hmm line 5, i feel like it should be broken up, somehow...but i can't decide where!
just a suggestion, but it may actually be best to leave as is. gotta be very careful in editing these short kindof pieces yeah?
 — ruyi

I like, not sure if I truly understand what you mean - sounds rather like doomed love to me :)
 — unknown

Lovely in 5 lines - brilliant.  L05 makes it for me; a great play on words overall. :)
 — WordsAndMe

I like how you did this.
A great idea, and simply/perfectly worded.
Great job.
i <3 L5.
 — FolleRouge

 — unknown

ok i don't know what my ebb is but i really like how you put the flow and making it sort of a metaphor (or it might be a metaphor not to sure) with the waves of a river "The tide is out" really good good job
 — Phoenix567

ok i know what ebb means now and quite impressed on how you flew everything together around a river or body of water
 — Phoenix567

This sounds like something a really sassy girl would say to a guy with a cheesy pic up line. Funny! Liked it.
 — MrChris

Interesting take on this peice, MrChris!! :) Made me smile...maybe I could use this the next time I'm on the recieving end of "hey baby, i'm like pinoccio, sit on my face and I'll tell you lies"

Don't worry, neverthehero, I'm be sure to state my comback is courtesy of you :)
 — WordsAndMe

it made me cry
 — unknown

I enjoyed reading this it made me a little sad though =(
 — xtormentedx

It is a little sad, isn't it?
 — neverthehero

A bit Dorothy Parkeresque I think. Rather good,
 — opal

i like the words and the idea. usually i hate short poetry, but this one isn't so bad. :)
 — missmurder

wow, I thought I would hate this when I saw the title, but I really loved it.  So I guess my only suggestion would be to change the title.  
 — Machsee

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