poetry critical

online poetry workshop

i ate my cat

i ate my cat
and got stuck in a toilet
i chewed a piece of paper,
put my head in a fishbowl
all while you were in the desert, looking for the stars
i swallowed a quarter
i fed a worm to another worm
i put a live fish in my pants
i replaced my brain with a golf ball
all while you were stoned, talking to your shadows

31 Aug 03

Rated 7.8 (7.3) by 14 users.
Active (14): 2, 4, 4, 5, 5, 7, 7, 8, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (16): 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 6, 6, 8, 8, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)

(15 users consider this poem a favorite)

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Onklcrispy does this SO much better.
 — ersaph

Why did you eat your cat?
 — susanna15

who cares why he did it, why did he write about it?
 — unknown

Perhaps it was a chocolate cat.
 — unknown

It seems like a really bizarre love poem to me.
 — unknown

that last comment was me.
 — inashadow

Seems like some people are trying to put meaning where there is none.
 — flyfire

i sense a strong sarcastic tone in this poem. from my take, i see the writer as angry and fed up with their significant other's drug problem, to the point of delirium, so its almost funny, in a sad way. i like it. write on.
 — unknown

im listening.
i like the objects that all somehow fit in the same dead pan.
i want to read more.
 — gnormal

Dude, what's the matter with you?....
 — unknown

What do you think is the matter? The poor guy is coughing up furballs.
 — unknown

I like it. I'm not sure why but I like it especially L9 and L10. I've never used drugs but that's what this is about, I think...
 — tiny

Shutup, ersaph! That's a pretty good poem!
 — unknown

people can be really stupid when they"re stoned!
 — unknown

stupid as hell
 — unknown

i love this
for some reason
i can't put my finger on.
 — noodleman

Yeah this is so funny. i can see the sarcasim. i love it hahahahahaha.
 — Delicatelie

i could actually interprit this in two way
the way that unknow said
and just the opposite
 — Delicatelie

Keep on - i'm not that crazy about some of the mixes or the poem in its overall- but there's something about the style that creates some imagery- and to me that's what it's all about. l liked everything but lines 7-8-9
 — wilcul

this is really stupid
 — unknown

i read this like a year ago. i still love this poem. perhaps i have problems and need help, but i really like it.
 — noodleman

Great poem .Loved it .Worms ,golf balls,fishpants all in one short stanza .Got to hit the mark
 — larrylark

god the unknown commentator was deep but i figa tha t the guy is tryin to look to deeply into the poem it is wat it is jus accept and embrace
 — unknown

i thought the poem was just halarious!!
 — unknown

 — ducktape

LOLLLLLLL. I love how you end with no period.
 — meaka

Hmm, nice, huh?

-Sam' xx
 — unknown

the second stanza is better than the first, cos its more crazy.
wild abandon is great, and you still came up with a pretty decent poem
line 9 made me laugh
 — mr_e

I know how this feels and you put it in a sarcastic way (but very true) Good Job!
 — unknown

Not even going to try and find meaning.

"i replaced my brain with a golf ball
all while you were stoned, talking to your shadows"

I like this.
 — Meadow

 — themolly

Hehe. I mostly write stuff like this i swedish. It's real fun on stage. People laugh. The best is sayning the most of it REAL SERIOUS. That contrast makes wonder.
 — opium

 — In_Relief

Ha ha, hilarious, but at the same time I got a deeper message that had nothing to do with the poem…
 — winter

the bunny hops
it hops on mops
she's the tops
the bunny's a lop
 — unknown

Ok, this poem makes you laugh but go WTF at the same time!
 — voltagex

this is good. i really enjoyed reading this. but i dont like the title. its very misleading.
 — sabz3003

i dont get it at all..are you asian? i heard asians eat cats
 — unknown

I am asian and asians do not eat cats (anymore). Even when we ate them it was only for medicine and that was, like, thousands of years ago.  
 — lonelygirl

i'm not much of a cat person.
unless it is a lion.
or any other type of jungle cat.
i guess you can say i've got jungle fever.
only, i have normal body temerature.
 — Spunkee

there are, however, SOME asians that eat cats still, but most of them are just crazy or starving. i believe you are one of the crazy ones (even if you are not asian).
 — lonelygirl

winter, please share with us the deeper meaning you got...
 — Lia

Wicked, love funny poems
 — Lulu

ahahaahahhahaha i still love this poem. i originally gave it a 9. i'm changing it to a 10.
 — Spunkee

I love this poem.  Great open mike poem btw.  Different, funky and cool.  
 — starr

this poem is awesome. i wish i knew who wrote it.
 — inutile

I really love it. Great poem. ^^
 — OfWicked

for the curious: it's my little sister's poem, so i posted it anonymously because i didn't want to put my name on it.
 — britta

I really like this one, it shows a side of bitterness I have not seen before.
 — starwars

 — fallinforyou

this poem sucks why even bother writing you retard
 — unknown

Hmmmm. Someone is teasing me. I hope Him did not write this poem. Did you, Him? Now listen to me, him.....

 — unknown

OK...maybe you went crazy once she was gone, but the images you relate are too quick and easy and crazy that the reader doesn't sense what you're saying for yourself, but understand all too well his/her reasons for taking off to that desert.

I think to be considered serious, you need to approach seriously.  Let us understand why the cat...or some purpose of this poem other than to try being unique when it's only uniquely weird.  


P.S.:  Although others may think so, I don't think a combination of unique and weird in combination is necessarily a good thing.
 — NoWayJo

Enigmatic poetry often teases the senses.

Love it.
 — unknown

Didn't Ducktape write this?

 — unknown

 — britta

but I am sure Ducktape wrote this.

 — unknown

 — britta

tell your little sister that she is my god, and i am going to start a cult to worship her :)
 — inutile

i had forgotten about it.
i still like it.
how old when she wrote it?
just love 7.
love imagining she's a little kid.
 — gnormal

I don't know, maybe senility is setting in.

 — unknown

twelve or thirteen? i don't remember exactly. :)
 — britta

Improbable and nearly impossible.
I ate your cat.
Come on.
You expect me to believe that YOU ate it.
Geezus man.

Other than that, nice poem.
 — unknown

I like this because of the rhythm and imagery. L5 and 10 should say "all the while" IMO.
 — DeathShards

woohooo! the saddistic n sarcastic-ness of this is wonderful!! a brilliant expression of 'fed up' and grouchiness.
 — witness

I heart my dog
I 8 my cat

part of a very famous comedy act by that vegamatic guy
 — unknown

my cat is really annoying. if i send it over, will you it take care
of it for me?
 — unknown

the poor cat...sorry...i didn't like this poem. sounds like a failed attempt at one of those "don't do drugs" commercials. at least 16 other users liked it. 5/10
 — Henry

Is this hinting at someone in the shadow of another's drug addiction or "constantly stoned" state of existence?  At least, that's what I'm getting out of it.  Strange lyric.
 — unknown