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Jam on Old Bread. If Only.
OwlGirl

If only
 1
I was jam on old bread--
 2
molding into the air pockets,
 3
sweetening its soft crust,
 4
engulfing it with flavor.
 5
 
 
But I am not.
 6
I eat the jam on old bread--
 7
absorbing its new dimension,
 8
spreading into the dark nooks,
 9
digesting its existence.
 10

14 Mar 06

Rated 6.3 (6.3) by 5 users.
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Comments:

Simply wonderful!
 — redsky

thanks for your comment!

~Owlgirl
 — unknown

crap.
 — unknown

Why did you make this about old bread?  I'm thinking mold, hard, horrible.  New soft bread with jam or butter or just by itself.  

Can you explain the use of the old, please?
 — Isabelle5

old bread + soft crust = oxymoron
 — unknown

mabye she was eating old bread when inspiration struck?
 — unknown

I don't think this poem can be called inspirational.
 — unknown

Do you ever keep bread in a plastic ziploc bag so that it's all moist and nasty when you take it out?  And as far as my inspiration for this, I had a pen in hand and was in a poetic mood and so I took this nasty old bread out and opened my delicious jar of jam (just purchased that day) and I smeared it on and it was delicious so I wrote a poem about its transformation.

Can you give me feedback on the poem as opposed to the subject?
 — unknown

Yres, I can, but no, I will not. There now, it's OUT in the OPEN
 — unknown

Well, it's hard to separate the poem from the topic!  The topic is what the poem consists of basically, with punctuation and spelling, etc. to put form to it.

No, I can't comment on one without pointing out the other.
 — Isabelle5

Oh, well you sure are crappy editors.  The old saying is true: Editors can't write, and writers can't edit to save their sorry lives.
 — OwlGirl

i think this is cute...if that makes sense. i always find myself doing simple little things, and making it seem complex in my mind. Therefore, I can relate this so much to myself(not trying to sound self-minded here). As for the topic and the poem being considered seprately, I half to agree with Isabelle, it simply can't be done. I like the idea though
 — Cherish

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