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Ardent Awakening [revised]

Through linen folds diurnal kite tails
streak across the room,
capturing the ashes
of a fallen day in their reaches.
Eyelids butterfly, announcing her
azure awakening. A slow arc curls
into her cheeks as ivory sentries
take in the dusk.
his impression, their coupling
her security,  
held fast in the cotton creases
that cloak his simple words,
words that his fingers traced
at noon, yet linger still, indolent
along her thigh.
Azure blends with indigo,
kite tails evanesce
she is unaware of the dampness
on her cheeks.

3 Mar 06

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 — unknown

Touching, with nice images
 — unknown

Unknowns, thank you also.
 — hobby

beautiful piece.
 — listen

Too many adjectives make what should have been a simple moment unecessarily complicated. The last two lines are far more powerful and effective than the previous twenty five.
 — unknown


Thanks for visiting, I have considered your comments and made some revisions particularly the first stanza, any feedback you have is welcomed.

Thanks again
 — hobby