poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Words Written in Raindrops on Windows
Resonanz

Poetry is more than just words.
 1
Despite what has been said
 2
by critics since the beginning of time
 3
real poetry has nothing to do with rhyme.
 4
 
 
In the type of poetry
 5
that really touches us
 6
with its sharp hint
 7
of snow melting on our
 8
bare skin,
 9
the
 10
words
 11
just
 12
flow
 13
off
 14
the
 15
page
 16
as if they were written in
 17
raindrops on windows in the spring time.
 18
 
 
You know the type all too well.
 19
The type of words that
 20
resonate in your mind,  
 21
and you can't
 22
imagine how you ever
 23
managed to let such a
 24
simple truth
 25
and obvious beauty
 26
elude you.
 27
 
 
Then comes a dab of simple subtle repetition,
 28
repetition; that could make you inhale
 29
twice without exhaling.
 30
Poets write lines that are so enthralling that your pulse takes a two measure rest to allow your eyes time to reach the end of them all the while never realizing they are unnecessarily long.
 31
 
 
We taste the poets' words
 32
on our lovers' lips
 33
and read them from the back
 34
of our eyelids when we
 35
finally close our
 36
tired eyes each night.
 37
 
 
A poet gives you lines
 38
that you are
 39
tempted to tattoo
 40
across your forearm,
 41
because they've become such a part of you.
 42
If only you had the money or audacity.
 43
 
 
When we meet poets in the street
 44
we can read their words in their eyes.
 45
They are everything we want to be;
 46
the soft sombreness of eulogies
 47
and the sweet sentiment of children.
 48
They are the calloused keepsakes of memory
 49
and the captivating cunningness of subtlety
 50
all captured in beings painfully
 51
aware of their own and this world's
 52
imperfections.
 53
 
 
Poems reverberate with the
 54
natural voice of ink and paper,
 55
spoken in languages we have
 56
long since forgotten.
 57
Sometimes it sounds lovely and perfect
 58
like the sounds of an opera singer's
 59
aria echoing down the stairwell.
 60
Other times the voice is soft and raspy
 61
like words spoken in between cigarettes
 62
by gentle grandfathers,
 63
on whose laps we sat as children.
 64
 
 
Whatever the case, there is
 65
always a certain beauty present.  
 66
That same beauty that seems to underlie all
 67
of existence, even the parts we have
 68
shallowly classified as "ugly."  
 69
 
 
And though they,
 70
the same people that
 71
can look at the last triumphant display
 72
of a wilting rose's petals and see nothing
 73
but deformation and decay
 74
may say,
 75
that pictures
 76
tell a thousand words,
 77
I'd prefer a poem
 78
any day.
 79

28 Jan 06

Rated 9.2 (8.3) by 7 users.
Active (7): 3, 8, 8, 9, 9, 10, 10
Inactive (10): 1, 4, 6, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(27 more poems by this author)

(11 users consider this poem a favorite)
Anonymous_55
cali86
carox3
fallinforyou
madderhatter
meghanmidget
musicwords
notetoself
SojT
starwars
teo_omega11



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Comments:

gag me!
 — unknown

you ought to be more precise in line 1. instead of Poetry is more than just words you should say Poetry is more than just words to the poet. as far as im concerned they are just words
 — TheO1dCrow

I have to say, I was a little wary of this at the beginning, but as I read through it, I have to say that I fell in love with this poem.  It's gorgeous.
 — fallinforyou

i have to say i have to say i have to say
 — TheO1dCrow

How did you get the flow and off overlapping like that?
 — unknown

beautiful...and thoughtful. something that i do cherish and call a favorite.
 — cali86

Definitely a favourite. You put forth a point that I couldn't hope to fully comprehend unless I had actually read the subject matter. I'm not going to rate this, because I believe this poem deserves more than a simple 10.

[Teo]
 — teo_omega11

great detail.
 — pull_my_hair

well im a poet and photographer and i prefer pictures, i do - shoot me if you want. its just because i fall into a good photo like i fall into a pool of water. However pictures created in my mind by six of your words - Words Written in Raindrops on Windows - are worth/ are priceless.
The poem itself i realy was enjoying and then i found my self drifting cause i feel its a bit to long. But youve got talent and your funny (lines 28 n 29) amounst others do make me smile. thanks - 9
 — philoanon

This is pretty good. I agree with the sentiment wholeheartedly. A couple notes, L27 should be "elude". L65 "Whatever the case" sounds jarring and comes right at the point where a reader MIGHT begin to think you are being too longwinded.... it allows them to think they are right, and they are not. This is not too longwinded; don't make excuses for the length within the poem itself.
 — Ananke

line 27. perhaps you really do want the logical choice: elude  (?) Just checking.
 — unknown

I really like this poem, I think this is good because it's really thoughtful. That's definately a favourite for me.
 — Anonymous_55

while somewhat thoughtful it does not comment on how poetry can be used to express negative topics like abuse, power and hypocrisy.
 — unknown

i wuv wis

since i can't weed, i'm wooking at it like an escher

and its fantwastic:

somewon is wetting their wode go in a tunnel of tits

fanks

woger
 — unknown

Ananke:  thanks for catching the typo.  I've fixed it now.

Thanks everyong for the comments
 — Resonanz

this is great, i like it
 — madderhatter

i agree w/ the guy at the top! gag me!
 — unknown

Thanks madderhatter.
 — Resonanz

i really really like the title. it sounds like something i would make up. and i enjoy the imagery you've used.
 — endlessdream

Thanks for the comment.
 — Resonanz

i love this. at first i was afraid it would play off as the cliche cry out of a poet...but i fell in love with this poem. it puts poetrys effect on the heart & mind ino beautiful words. **cheers**
 — notetoself

i like it.
 — listen

Thanks for the comments.
 — Resonanz

As one who's read you a number of years, this touched my heart as a fellow writer. I enjoyed it.
 — unknown

Lovely. I really enjoy L31, it is exquisite and really impacts, very very clever.

x
 — musicwords

you idiots, this sucks.
 — unknown

Thanks for the comments everyone. (except the unknown above of course)
 — Resonanz

waindwops keep falling on my head
 — unknown

wainwops... wainwops...
 — unknown

I don't know if I've commented on this before (I don't think I have, but I'm too lazy to check) but I love this.  I can't really say anything that you haven't already heard, but I thought I'd tell you anyway.  This is great.
 — fallinforyou

talk about lazy.... you already commented
 — unknown

toooo loooooooong
 — unknown

nice poem.
you posted on my birthday... that's awesome.
thanks.
 — unknown

wow...
 — unknown

This is so sweet.  Yeah...we poets ARE really cool.  We see people, places, things and memories with a definitely heightened kind of awareness, don't we?  The mood(s)  of a poet's musings are evident and musical.  I would want nothing more in life than to continue to paint with words.  It's a very special thing and it takes a very special eye/mindset to effectively convey this through, as you say, "ink and paper."  Very nice.  Celebrate poetry always.  It's like Maya Angelou once said, "Poetry is the essence of a feeling."  Amen.
 — starr

meh... cheese.
 — unknown

...
 — unknown

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