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I intend wildness
Doulos

I intend ferocity!
 1
My broken teeth itch and saw
 2
foraying my minutes
 3
I will drag along the timeline
 4
claws and eyes dug deep into its flesh
 5
splicing new lifelines -
 6
new moments -
 7
wide open gaps of seconds and days
 8
where I can store women or
 9
other new loves.
 10
 
 
I intend wildness!
 11
To Jam my finger into one nostril (tick),
 12
then the other (tock), and
 13
guide time like a carriage brute.
 14
“To Ebhousen!”
 15
for the ebb of my morals,
 16
frayed months in boxes and paper bags; or
 17
“To Addis Ababa!”
 18
for the flow of morals and missionary work,
 19
where heat and prayer can turn sands to glass; or
 20
"To the tops of my ankles!"
 21
For lucidity and living
 22
as Nietzsche’s man with qualifications:
 23
more hope, less cruelty. Love.
 24

24 Jan 06

Rated 8.5 (8.6) by 10 users.
Active (10): 1, 7, 8, 8, 10
Inactive (1): 7, 9, 9, 9, 10

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Comments:

Very good stuff.
 — gingerdave

thanks
 — Doulos

any more comments?
 — Doulos

Just edited. Anybody?
 — Doulos

cool!
 — unknown

bursting with testosterone + energy. Wonderful. Line five: its flesh ( no ' ) Your final line took me by surprise. That was intended, I presume?
All in all, amazing poem. It infused me with its sheer force.
 — borntodance

wow, thanks man. I appreciate the comments.
 — Doulos

thanks, I always mess up that it's-vs-its deal.
 — Doulos

( if its shows possession, don't use an apostrophe. If it's the contraction of it is, do.)
Great poem, apostrophe notwithstanding!
 — borntodance

haha, thanks. I just never seem to catch it when I make the apostrophe mistake, though I know which is right. oops.
 — Doulos

What do you mean by foraying your minutes?  I know foray as a journey, not as a verb.  You don't need a comma in line 9 but you might want a period at end of line 10.

Do I need detective skills here, too?  sigh
 — Isabelle5

no, no detective skills needed. "Foray" means a sudden attack or raid, as well as a short journey. I never noticed the double meaning there, but it's kind of a nice accident. To "foray" my minutes is to attack them. Raid them. Squeeze every last drop from them.
 — Doulos

and thanks, the comma was a remnant from another edit, and the period was an oversight.
 — Doulos

Didn't know that about foray, thanks for sharing.  Up goes the rate!
 — Isabelle5

Thanks babe. No prob. Actually, you kind of scared me there for a sec. I was hoping I didn't missunderstand my own wordage.
 — Doulos

I love learning a new meaning to a word I think I'm quite well versed on.  It's like discovering a little bit of gold hidden in the stones.  
 — Isabelle5

I know. Especially words that have two meanings far separated from eachother. Like a small trip vs a quick attack.
 — Doulos

I wish it were time to foray home!  I need to foray some laundry!  hahaha
 — Isabelle5

haha. that's pretty clever. Gosh I'm tanked. Way too tanked too fill the tank on my tank.
 — Doulos

made huge-normous changes to the last stanza. How's it now? If the changes don't suit you, lemme know.
 — Doulos

Sorry, I can't say, I didn't understand it the first time, either.
 — Isabelle5

really? that's a bummer. I thought this was one of my less cryptic poems. anybody else?
 — Doulos

it's okay, can't deny the energy, but i was expecting something else. the first stanza suggests this, but was wrong i guess.
good poem.
 — listen

so, what were you expecting, listen? was it a let-down?
 — Doulos

you're insane. and i do mean that in a nice, good way.
 — inutile

hey thanks inutile. I think. insanity aint bad necessarily. For a more sane poem, check out my two new ones, "peaches" and "an Ant in the Lion's Head"
 — Doulos

don't forget to take your folic acid -- hernana cortexed
 — unknown

haha, thanks.
 — Doulos

who said i liked sanity? i will check them sometime in the near future.
 — inutile

I agree. Sanity is pretty lame. I'm all for a little kookiness, a little craziness, and perhaps some good old schizophrenia.
 — Doulos

I know it's supposed to be testosterone-y - but as a female I'm like "hell yes!" too.  It's awesome.  It carries an energy.  One I like, for that matter - as with most of your writings.
 — WordsAndMe

Terrific.  I likey..
 — CervusWright

thanks guys!
 — Doulos

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