The exclamation point is unnessacary and takes away from it a bit. I think the first line could be the title, and you could do away with the current L1.
This is so true. Everything does die!
Failures are temporary. Giving up is what makes them permanent. It was once said to me that you cannot always change the direction of the wind, but you can adjust your sails. Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. I would love to see you try to write something a little less dark. But in these few short verses, you have spoken volumes. Well done.
woah thats deep!
i like it
short sweet(maybe not too sweet), and to the point!
I like your style, you say alot with few words.
Deep? It is just another razor blade and blood poem. Good LORD, bing bing bong is starting to look really good right now.