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The Icecream Factory

I would have tasted
all thirty-one flavors
and what rocky roads
do children know?
At sixteen
I was only
halfway there.

26 Nov 05

Rated 9.7 (9.7) by 3 users.
Active (3): 9, 10, 10
Inactive (2): 8, 10

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Perfect flavour. Gorgeous poem. The minimalism is eloquent. And the sadness..... oh, it's there all right. [10]
 — graceinmtl

Thankyou sooooooooo much.  God Bless You!  
 — starr

this is lovely, subtle and strong images ... the flavor of a lament.  
 — slancho

What is this poem talking about?  Maybe I am a perv but I think it is sex.  If it is sex you are very gifted.......at sex.......by now, I am sure.

The only thing I dont like is the capitalization when there is no period, even though you are changing lines, you are not changing thoughts, but then again, i am not the poetry police, and there is no right or wrong way. I'd also put all thirty one on its own line and take out the "..." Other than that, I found this poem delightful, good job. :)
 — shadowskiss

Thankyou SO MUCH,  everyone for your kind and warm critiques.  Sadly, it's NOT about sex.  It's about my childhood, which, I don't think is much different at all from most other's childhoods.  Deprivation, wishes and typical teenage traumas experienced without drugs/alcohol/criminal record.  I'm proud of that.  I was molested 3x by the same uncle.  The notebook has always been my "therapy."

A happy, healthy holiday season to y'all and hopefully you'll have all 31 flavors too one day!  Thanks again!  
 — starr

starr, thank you for your wonderful wish ... what a treat to look forward to
 — slancho

Thanks Starr.

 — shadowskiss

Unknown above me,

The theme is alluded to, not thrown in anyone's face. Why would this poem enrage you so? You don't have to read the poet's comments. In fact, this poem stands well on its own. I'm very bewildered by your reaction. And you're seemingly no spring chicken yourself. I can tell that by your syntax. So why the invective?

This poem shows a great deal of reigning-in-- restrainst. Your comment truly threw me.
 — graceinmtl

I am on this one with Grace, lovely work and no need for vinegar in the soup
 — slancho

Thanking everyone minus the "Unknown" big mouth for their kind, constructive feedback.  Again, it seems to be that the ones with the most negative comments are the ones who don't even critique the work presented as is the intention here (appreciation of poetry), but rather attack the poets (people they don't even know).  They wonder why their existence on Earth is so empty/shallow.  Nothing better to do with themselves.  Oddly, for all I've been through, I've never once turned to drugs/alcohol/crime for the answers.  Rather, my poetry has always come to the rescue.  Amen.  God bless everyone who has offered their warm critiques.  Wow!  A 10!  Thankyou!
 — starr

constitutionally incapable of honesty
 — unknown

this poem seems unfinished, i like lines 1 and 2 but I was expecting you to take me through the flavors that life take us on. i love where this is going.
 — manishas

say it ain't so, joe...
you hate cheese?!?
death to blasphemers
 — chuckles

I like this - repetition used to such good effect, not to mention the wordplay - wit eloquence and poignancy all in such a small package. I love it.
 — opal

Try Soy Dream. It only comes in a few flavors- organic delight without hangovers. Children have rocky roads but they often don't know them. They trip along, run, some go too far and hard, etc. Children might abuse rocky road if given too much (false) freedom. Some adults are stuck at childhooded-levels. Fixated? Your poem is bizarre and although I don't think much of Baskin-Robbins' ethics, I appreciate its unique simplicity, hammy.
 — C

Brilliant. Very concise, you manage to pack a lot in a mere 8 verses.
 — Incesticide

Thanks, everyone!  I appreciate your feedback/compliments.  Peace'n love, Starr
 — starr

Dear Starr

This is so evocative for me and like all good poems leaves much unsaid. I really like the imagery and its unusual slant.

Fond regards

Larry triple strawberry Lark
 — larrylark

powerful. I need to re-read this and let it soak in. There is a lot here in such a short poem - that is hard to do so good job.
 — papermoon

 — unknown

I like that this poem leaves so much unsaid, allowing the reader to experience it within the context of their own life.  I think punctuation is overated as long as the line breaks are in the right place.  I had a pretty good childhood, but I still turned to drugs/alchohol/crime.  It is so sad how many people I have met in recovery that were sexually abused.
 — skinnyJon

Thanks, Skinnyjon!  What honesty.  I commend u for that and thanks 4 the props to this poem.  It's one of my personal faves!  I had a shitty childhood with dysfunctional, clinically depressed parents.  My mother was always strung out on antidepressants and such.  My father was emotionally abusive and I never turned to drugs, alcohol nor crime for the answers.  I turned to God instead.  Truthfully, though, I think I would have had a better childhood had I smoked weed then I wouldn't've cared so much.  I didn't try that 'til i was 30.  I still turned out pretty good and I'm  sure you're okay too.  Thanks again, brotha.  Peaceout.  Love, Starr
 — starr

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