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defects
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pushing against
 1
a white wall
 2
a clean surface
 3
smeared by the blood
 4
of his work
 5
 
 
golden body
 6
turning black
 7
from heat
 8
 
 
his birth
 9
harder
 10
than death
 11
 
 
he cannot
 12
crack the wall
 13
that entombs him
 14
in his own shell
 15

19 Nov 05

Rated 10 (9) by 1 users.
Active (1): 10
Inactive (1): 8

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Comments:

interesting. emotive dark poem. good development of blackening colour from white.
 — bettalpha

thanks.
 — listen

nice poem...

maybe 'from heat' instead?

&

his birth
harder
than death
 — varun

i like the way this reads now. thanks varun.
 — listen

wooooooooooooooo

-varun-
 — unknown

i like your style very much. i have read a few of your poems,.....and like them all for what they were. u set aside rhythm and structure (not that u dont have it)...u seem to focus on whats really important,......emotion.
 — crismonblue

emotional appeal is my favorite type of writing i think. not the sentimental junk ... just a different viewpoint on emotion, or perhaps a completely different emotion all together ...

thanks for commenting.
 — listen

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