|in the green room
she sings childish songs
as the cancer
eats her bones
9 Aug 05
Rated 8.9 (8.4) by 11 users.
Active (11): 7, 8, 8, 9, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (8): 1, 3, 6, 7, 8, 8, 8, 10, 10, 10, 10
(define the words in this poem)
(3 more poems by this author)
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but the poem's nice
i'm so sorry. so sorry. this is beautiful.
perhaps children's songs?
Oh, ouch and my God.
you might relate cruellshoos.
they were actually dirty little ditties--she was pushing 90.
thankyou nm, i was inspired by your tanka.
thanks for the links nm
This was a tragically sad poem.
My grandma has cancer, so this touched deep.
thanks for your poem, cs :)
I absolutely love the idea of the old woman high on morphine singing raunchy tunes! Spit in the eye of the disease and sing loud. That's great!
that was her alright! much thanks.
its short, but it has beauty.
it's short because it's tanka-inspired. tanka are only 5 lines.
this is beautiful.
what does our tanka man think?
morhine duets killed me.
Exceptional and heart crushing.
depressing i loved it.
Line 2 aches with grief and irony.
Thanks for the poetic comments.
Since I've been coming to this site, I've wondered over how childish one has to be to give an unjustified low rating. Doing that to a poem such as this is just obscene.
duh, by tanka man i meant noodleman, and he's already commented. sorry.
thanks, i'm used to the trolls.
whoops forgot to rate!
It reminds me of "Heart Shaped Box" by Nirvana.
beautiful and tragic.
In the great green room
There was a telephone
And a red balloon
And a picture of
The cow jumping over the moon.
From the book Goodnight Moon
oh God. This is chilling. So real. It's good not to pansy up something like cancer. Everything here is cleverly worded and delivers a shock and a sadness. I feel lucky now that I'm alright. Thanks for the stark reminder not to take my health for granted.
tragic and striking. don't change anything.
NICE POEM, HAHAHA!
Nothing amazing but good for the style. ~techno
Like a pop in the chest. Effective for a four-lined poem. L2's "morphine duets" especially.
But the use of "childish" in L1 seems judgemental. I say make the line "she sings songs". That way it goes: 3 syllables, 4, 4, 3 (although L4 is technically 4 syllables, it feels like 3)
I give this an 8.
am i th'only one
who thinks the singer in this poem
is warming up for the
the "green room" is where (in the tv business) the talk-show guests wait
before they go out on stage with the host...
very good title
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