poetry critical

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Earwig Bently hears the music, surrenders the sounds.

I have fostered all of your limbs, little  bug faced fellow, inching,
kissing your seperate sections, My Intimate Wonderful, you've dared
sleep in conversation: Always Drowning lonely men climb
softly and stammering down into the parts of your long brain-faced mind hissing
that your whole self cannot see but you are not yet blindly quivering. Kissing; the rain gathers around again
your whole self and
drips through
into your ears,  answering telephones.
I can see you in my window crawling again against the water.
You are behaving drunkly, my stuttering beauty,
and I am playing the radio for you, rolling away.
(And Earwig Bently, you will patrol my thoughts
as they float up and outward toward God,
tripping over oxygen and shivering naked,
they scream and continue falling up.
                                        and up. they never connect.)
you are walking across
on the clothesline, decorated in wet weather,
                                        i reach for you, your manner,
                                        for your earrings, and tug you
                                        so that your face ruptures and
                                        it shatters like any
                                        insect , still-moving bodies and your whole self
                                        weeps, you are writhing, weakness,
                                        your whole is  now suffered; convulsing.
                                        I am missing your itchy method
                                        as We watch you twitch.

18 Jul 05

Rated 8.8 (8) by 12 users.
Active (12): 1, 5, 7, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (11): 1, 1, 1, 8, 9, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10, 10

(define the words in this poem)
(2 more poems by this author)

(11 users consider this poem a favorite)

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very good, ok?

yes, it is.
 — unknown

I thank you for your kind words.

 — Chuck

bonjour, i tripped over an oxygen once. add you.
 — noodleman

WowEE a ten! Thanks mister!
 — unknown

this earwig reminds me of a moth i met once long ago.
 — noodleman

Yes, I know which moth you're speaking of and I believe they starred in the same soap opera.
 — Chuck

you must tell me of this soap opera sometime perhaps via the electronic mail device. add you for now.
 — noodleman


 — unknown

Thank you SIR.

this pome, by the way is quite beautiful and marvelous in its novel use of language particularly line 25 which is exquisiteness in its whole self and also lines 2-5 which make me wish to hug myself more oftener.
 — noodleman

You sir are a very kind sir!! A very very kind sir!!

Tip of my hat to you.
 — unknown

ahh.. beautifully charming.
 — midare

Are you Ersaph?
 — unknown

I am honored to be compared to such a poet.
 — unknown

this is amazing.
 — warsager

oh please post more instantly!
 — warsager

Thank you so much.
 — Chuck

this here is a fine pome yesiree thats right.
 — noodleman

them tens sure is purty!
 — noodleman

I gave it a ten because I dislike it so much. Are you telling me 10 is for good and 1 is for bad?
 — unknown

10 amazing
5 average
1 awful
 — unknown

Holy cow shit!
 — Chuck

This poem is a brothel-keeper!
 — Chuck

Holy bug shit this is good.  I will return later to tell you more.
 — housepoppy

I thought for sure I was reading rixes.  I'll be watching you Chuck.
 — housepoppy

Thank you kindly, sir/maddam.

 — Chuck

Means nought to me  yet.  Will come back to, but in mean time will start you off with a five.
 — unknown

Translation: "No time to comment, but I sure as hell can rate!"
 — unknown

Translation "I want to have Chuck's babies."
 — unknown

no no no
 — unknown

good in places. must be a default #1.
 — unknown

Elaborate, please. Default, how? Please?
 — Chuck

I want the world!

I want the whole world!

I want responses and I'll take my chances with ticking brown boxes--

Give it to me now!!
 — Chuck

Please, I am starting to assume that you are a jerk. I don't like having these thoughts!
 — Chuck

 — Chuck

don't flood the recently commented list, dear.

and the unknown was refering to how long this poem has been in the number one spot, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
 — youthculture

My apologies.
 — Chuck

Extra space on line one. And eight, so I'm guessing you meant to? I thought the word was "drunkenly," although now I'm not sure, so I probably just made myself look like an ass.

You've found a way to penetrate my thoughts. This poem plays out in my thoughts. Incredible, and favorited.
 — meaka

Ish both.

Drunkenly and drunkly.

I felt more drunkly than drunkenly ;)

Thank you ah, so much.
 — Chuck

I also apologize to the unknown. :( I misunderstood.
 — Chuck

Don't feel bad, Chuck; I feel the same way about unknown's comment...I still don't see how they weren't being rude.... ah, well.
 — meaka

this poem was over my head. i will be awaiting all your future poems, though.
 — Lia

it's a default #1 not because it is great but because the other poems available are fair.
 — unknown

That's not very nice.
 — Chuck

i can understand why you unknowns are intimidated. this guy comes here, posts his first poem and it's better than anything you'll ever be able to write. do you wear rolled up socks in your private areas to make your sexual organs appear more impressive, too?

just curious.

betcha doo!
 — unknown

It's worse when I wear my first sock and it's better than anything they'll be able to... wear. I think.
 — Chuck

And you are just so niece. I wish i could pinch your cheicks!
 — Chuck

there u go revealing your hypocrisy posting your criticisms of unknowns as an unknown. please think before your verbal ejaculations.
 — unknown

I don't, because I don't like saggy breasts.

Call me old-fashioned.
 — unknown

is it a crime for me to wear socks down my pants? :P

i think chuck is a very good poet, and has a unique writing style, and i will look out for his poems in the future, but the ones he writes now don't really appeal to me (this is not neccessarily a bad thing).

i am not jealous of him, but curious, rather, and eager for more poems.
 — unknown

and there u go revealing your hypocrisy posting your criticisms of unknowns as an unknow, as an unknown, unknown. please think before your verbal emasculations.
 — unknown

no nits. great read.
 — Bloodfetish


erm, what?
 — unknown

LOL to the unknown above. What a bad impersonation of me!

Yea, I'll get back to the poem later, hopefully.

...*is still laughing*
 — Rixes

 — OKcomputer

 — noodleman

So good!
 — kimado

You my friend are my new hero!
 — loonytune

I thought line twelve was going to read  "Earwig Bentley plays the blues". I would have liked it better if it did. I dig this, anyway. Well done.
 — wendz

Vaguely disturbing and eerily beautiful. It gave me a strange sense of calm, though why that is, nobody knows. I'm still not entirely sure if I am correct in assuming that this is about an earwig?? I really like this for some equally unknown reason, possibly the beautiful wording, possibly for the insight, mainly because I can't explain it.

Nice work.
 — unknown

I really want to understand this because so much of it oozes creativity and cleverness, but I want to say its almost too clever, asks too much of me as a reader.  Its  like eating a filet mignon, but not knowing that its the best cut out there, or that you marinaded it for days, or even that it came from a cow;  I feel like an ingrate.

And I would be surprised if anyone else could honestly speak differently.

I'll continue;  I don't feel like the whole thing must be accessible, but you come dangerously close to losing me completely in several places.  Does my honesty sound honest to you?  I hope so.
 — kite

I know what it is.

It's suicidal madness.

Would you like to see the post effects?

Read a quiet afterlife for Earwig Bently.

Thank you,
 — OKcomputer

its unnecessarily wordy and hasn't much point after reading it my initial reaction was this is a joke right? But apparently it is not, so I'll say no more lest the assembled personage  be come distraught.
 — danamom

You're a genius, aren't you?
 — OKcomputer

this is the first part.
 — OKcomputer