poetry critical

online poetry workshop



Cunt Whore
devilsbelboy

You no good for nothing cunt whore bitch,
 1
you sacked everything that was good,
 2
with my soul.
 3
My Soul.
 4
The final molestatation, you are evil.
 5

9 Jul 05

Rated 1 (1) by 3 users.
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Comments:

Hey, is this poem about me?

Lol.

I'm not too sure I like this one. Give the delete button a workout.
 — unknown

Isis, O Isis, miss Gilroy, a workout of my soul, delete?  If it was only that simple.
 — devilsbelboy

Um, I clicked through a few of your other poems, and are thay all about this Isis chick?
 — Lia

Simple, strong, bitter. I get the point! But is this a poem or an attack on a "cunt whore bitch" that "fucked you over"? Sorry it happened, move on. There's better out there! I've been married 30 years next month, usually happily though there are ups and downs (take that as you want!), and to the same woman.
 — wamblicante

molestation? Words like soul and evil are way, way overused. Try rewording first off. Try to find a different angle. Why should the reader care about your drama? Make them care. Make them intrigued with the way you worst all the words together. Good luck.
 — Bombazine

grow up
 — unknown

Can't a guy have drunken bout of words anymore?  Sometimes I sit an' really think about the words, sometimes I just shit them out with the morning NewCastle shits.  Grow up?  No, just sober up.  
 — devilsbelboy

respect other people's time.
 — unknown

Stop assuming every "unknown" is Isis. Jeez louise...
 — unknown

You must be writing about MelissaK.
 — unknown

I guess i can take that as a no then

Larry cunt bitch lark
 — larrylark

boring
 — Mongrol

It's good that u wrote this and put it somewhere else; mainly out of your mind and onto paper.  That's good.  As far as it being called "poetry,"  I'm not so sure.  Seems to me something one would find on a bathroom wall rather than on a poetry board.  The language itself doesn't really lend to poetry in a good way so much as it lends to profanity for the sake of profanity being written.  I'd try again without all the inflamatory vernacular.  The title itself only invites attention and there have been many on this site like it.  Do something that will set it aside from the rest of the worst so that it might stand a chance at being the best.
 — starr

I read this same poem on the bathroom stall wall in a Meijer store.
 — unknown

Plagiarized from a toilet room door, so why look there, the joke is in your hand
 — unknown

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