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One Woman's Liberation
Isabelle5

He threaded himself into my life,
 1
laced his kisses around my neck
 2
like a cowboy's stick-tie,
 3
complete with conch in silver engraving,
 4
stomping boots scuffed and bruised
 5
from too many line dances
 6
and drunken forays into town.
 7
 
 
He traced my veins like a map
 8
of the Southwest territories,
 9
branded me with white-hot words
 10
whispered beneath a slippery pale Moon,
 11
soothed me with the tranquil touches
 12
of a lover well-practiced,
 13
murmurs of a poet well-versed.
 14
 
 
He drew me in like a gentled horse,
 15
strokes upon my flank
 16
tender beneath his bare
 17
and blistered fingers.
 18
 
 
I turn to him as he sheds me
 19
of my bridle and his reins.
 20
Pillows melt beneath us
 21
as he accepts my quiet invitation
 22
and we ride.
 23
 
 
Happy mare,
 24
content and safe,
 25
resting
 26
in his shadow.
 27

7 Jul 05

Rated 9 (6.7) by 2 users.
Active (2): 8, 10
Inactive (9): 1, 1, 1, 5, 8, 9, 9, 9, 10

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Comments:

do u still feel safe, nice isabella, very nice, u never dissapoint us.
 — Odin

Wow...some great imagery here!!  The feeling in this poem is really intense...but for some reason I dont like the word mount in line 22...it makes you sound used.  But I think that might just be me...other than that, I loved this poem!
 — SaleenDriva

How's the change from mount to "accepts my invitation?"  Still reworking.  Thanks for the comments.
 — Isabelle5

SO much better...you didnt have to do that, but to me it cleans up everything...10.  Good one Isabelle!!!!!!
 — SaleenDriva

Thank you for commenting and coming back to see if I made the re-write.  We need you on this site!
 — Isabelle5

Very nice, Isabelle5.  I cannot make any great suggestions for things to change here.  I thinkl it's great as is.
 — jodieal

Aw shucks-blushes bright red and kicks at the ground-Thanks...I like watching poems evolve.
 — SaleenDriva

Good imagery, good flow. I like it. (Sorry I don't have any kind of critique.)
 — kaze

i love poems that allow the reader to grasp something on the first read, a certain concept as indicated by the perfect title, and this did that for me.
 — listen

You seem to enjoy being submissive. I can see where you are coming from with this
 — larrylark

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