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swimming number three
unknown

water is a nuisance
 1
soft in my belly
 2
cloudy in the fish tank
 3
running through my tender veins
 4
 
 
i don't like oxygen either
 5
asphyxiating the anaerobic
 6
chlorophyll hemoglobin slime
 7
fill my lungs with something else
 8
 
 
someday, i will live again
 9
unfettered by this animal skin
 10
light and free like fire
 11

14 Jun 05

Rated 8.5 (8.3) by 2 users.
Active (2): 8
Inactive (1): 8

(define the words in this poem)



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Comments:

holy i love this
 — tragicbubble

4 - 'watery' a replacement word might be better, to save on repetition and because it's a pretty weak description imo.

5/8 have you tried playing with asphixiates and fill in the present continuous tense? makes for a smoother read perhaps?

question is of course, what are you? an insect maybe. i dunno. but i will reread and think about it some more sometime.

nice. liked it better towards the end than i did at the beginning.
 — kaleidazcope

whoa, a useful comment! thanks. i like it more now.
 — britta

Dear Britta

Exeptionally fine poem love the way you fit in all thise biological scientific words.
 — larrylark

i love it.  
 — gnormal

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