poetry critical

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being bound is to ego, as________ is to ______.
themolly

shall i
 1
walk over high heeled - tip toed
 2
bend down
 3
over
 4
in front of you
 5
 
 
would you like that
 6
smile that
 7
smack lipped
 8
pantomime
 9
thank you
 10
 
 
is this your
 11
deepest
 12
secret
 13
fetish fantastic
 14
leather
 15
corset
 16
 
 
you need a beating
 17
stop begging
 18
clamp squeeze
 19
ego
 20
for the absorption
 21

13 Jun 05

Rated 8.2 (6.9) by 11 users.
Active (11): 1, 1, 7, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (7): 1, 1, 4, 5, 7, 9, 9

(define the words in this poem)
(41 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)



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Comments:

i need to complete the title.  any ideas?
 — unknown

oh that's hot. the title amazingly works.
 — thirdeyris

thanks.

i still want to change it.
 — unknown

  
shall i
puncture you with stillettoes
arch over, perhaps,
roam
inside of you

would you like that
or should i
smack
a vile smile
onto you
your welcome

is this your
raunchiest
secret
yiddish 4skins
leather
thongs

you need a beheading
stop praying
clamp cut
out 4skin
for redemption



deepthroat
 — unknown

awesome title just the way it is
 — sweetlemon

thanks
 — unknown

nice deepthroat.  did i inspire you?
 — unknown

A little fetish for my taste but not bad!!!
 — HeidiHo

This is really different
 — unknown

No, you should keep the title open-ended, with the blanks and everything.  It's like an analogy on the SATs, and aren't you testing your subject in the poem?
 — Endless_Mike

i suppose. still i'd like more a more finite title.
 — unknown

perfect title
never change it

this poem is so good.

i could lose my tights in it
clever to it's painted toes.

familiar expressions here and there.
seen elsewhere. but not too detracting for it.

one pick did you spell absorption absorbtion on purpose?
 — kaleidazcope

i fixed it...
 — unknown

?????
 — unknown

:)
 — BoundFeet

oh.  you're nasty-and i like it!
 — tiedtoes

:)
 — tiedtoes

you go girl!
 — Estrella

THANKs Gilzzzzzzzz
 — themolly

oh my... that's great! its very original and its really good.
 — blinx

awe shucks.  Thanks, blinx
 — unknown

This is on the Top Rated list? Hmmm, interesting...
 — Eschatologic

that was a harsh thing to say.  you might watch your mouth.
 — themolly

very tightly written. wonderful! cant say much about this but that it is awesome. i think we all have the hidden desire to be whipped.
 — SweetPain

Bondage :: Ego ::: ______ :: ______.

I think that's how they say that. @[email protected]
 — meaka

holy shit!  i didn't write that!  Cheeky sneakers....
 — themolly

i don't think it sucks, more like it licks and nuzzles.
 — themolly

delicious. as Kal said, keep every word
and fetish
 — Bloodfetish

thanks dudes
 — unknown

Mummy!
 — OKcomputer

I'll be your mummy
 — unknown

Will you?
 — OKcomputer

you got it baby.
 — unknown

Wrap me up.
 — OKcomputer

no.  I'm going to dress you up in my love.
 — unknown

I want someone to fill in those danged blanks on the title!  This is wanton and sexy and I can feel your breath over my shoulder.
 — Isabelle5

Isabelle5--
Originally I planned on completing the title.  Due to constant insistence that it is perfect, I have left it undone...but thanks for your opinion.

--the author
 — unknown

that sounded bitchy.  i didn't mean for it to.  

Thank you.  really.
 — unknown

being bound is to ego, as bondage is to lust.  
naw i wouldnt change it
 — Dead_Freak

Sincerely yoursHooray Hooray (The Gnomes have learned a new way to say hoooo raaaa yyyy)
 — unknown

Sparse verse.

Movement.

Charged lines.

It's so hard to make them this clean.  I usually hate poems that don't have punctuation, but I think this works.  I wish I could post something constructive, but I just wanted to say I enjoyed this.
 — Wordswain

thank you much
 — themolly

delicious words and shape and blanks.
My only suggestions are possible replacements for

fantastic (l14)
and
ego (l20)
 — banditfemme

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