poetry critical

online poetry workshop

being bound is to ego, as________ is to ______.

shall i
walk over high heeled - tip toed
bend down
in front of you
would you like that
smile that
smack lipped
thank you
is this your
fetish fantastic
you need a beating
stop begging
clamp squeeze
for the absorption

13 Jun 05

Rated 8.2 (6.9) by 11 users.
Active (11): 1, 1, 7, 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10
Inactive (7): 1, 1, 4, 5, 7, 9, 9

(define the words in this poem)
(41 more poems by this author)

(1 user considers this poem a favorite)

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i need to complete the title.  any ideas?
 — unknown

oh that's hot. the title amazingly works.
 — thirdeyris


i still want to change it.
 — unknown

shall i
puncture you with stillettoes
arch over, perhaps,
inside of you

would you like that
or should i
a vile smile
onto you
your welcome

is this your
yiddish 4skins

you need a beheading
stop praying
clamp cut
out 4skin
for redemption

 — unknown

awesome title just the way it is
 — sweetlemon

 — unknown

nice deepthroat.  did i inspire you?
 — unknown

A little fetish for my taste but not bad!!!
 — HeidiHo

This is really different
 — unknown

No, you should keep the title open-ended, with the blanks and everything.  It's like an analogy on the SATs, and aren't you testing your subject in the poem?
 — Endless_Mike

i suppose. still i'd like more a more finite title.
 — unknown

perfect title
never change it

this poem is so good.

i could lose my tights in it
clever to it's painted toes.

familiar expressions here and there.
seen elsewhere. but not too detracting for it.

one pick did you spell absorption absorbtion on purpose?
 — kaleidazcope

i fixed it...
 — unknown

 — unknown

 — BoundFeet

oh.  you're nasty-and i like it!
 — tiedtoes

 — tiedtoes

you go girl!
 — Estrella

THANKs Gilzzzzzzzz
 — themolly

oh my... that's great! its very original and its really good.
 — blinx

awe shucks.  Thanks, blinx
 — unknown

This is on the Top Rated list? Hmmm, interesting...
 — Eschatologic

that was a harsh thing to say.  you might watch your mouth.
 — themolly

very tightly written. wonderful! cant say much about this but that it is awesome. i think we all have the hidden desire to be whipped.
 — SweetPain

Bondage :: Ego ::: ______ :: ______.

I think that's how they say that. @[email protected]
 — meaka

holy shit!  i didn't write that!  Cheeky sneakers....
 — themolly

i don't think it sucks, more like it licks and nuzzles.
 — themolly

delicious. as Kal said, keep every word
and fetish
 — Bloodfetish

thanks dudes
 — unknown

 — OKcomputer

I'll be your mummy
 — unknown

Will you?
 — OKcomputer

you got it baby.
 — unknown

Wrap me up.
 — OKcomputer

no.  I'm going to dress you up in my love.
 — unknown

I want someone to fill in those danged blanks on the title!  This is wanton and sexy and I can feel your breath over my shoulder.
 — Isabelle5

Originally I planned on completing the title.  Due to constant insistence that it is perfect, I have left it undone...but thanks for your opinion.

--the author
 — unknown

that sounded bitchy.  i didn't mean for it to.  

Thank you.  really.
 — unknown

being bound is to ego, as bondage is to lust.  
naw i wouldnt change it
 — Dead_Freak

Sincerely yoursHooray Hooray (The Gnomes have learned a new way to say hoooo raaaa yyyy)
 — unknown

Sparse verse.


Charged lines.

It's so hard to make them this clean.  I usually hate poems that don't have punctuation, but I think this works.  I wish I could post something constructive, but I just wanted to say I enjoyed this.
 — Wordswain

thank you much
 — themolly

delicious words and shape and blanks.
My only suggestions are possible replacements for

fantastic (l14)
ego (l20)
 — banditfemme

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