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Bad Habit
Cloudless

I have to break
 1
 
 
that broken habit,
 2
of loving beautifully
 3
tragically
 4
hauntingly
 5
broken boys.
 6
 
 
No more livid pasts,
 7
excusable vices.
 8
No more wounded souls,
 9
noble deeds,
 10
          
 11
     broken hearts.
 12
 
 
 
 
Here I end
 13
formally,
 14
all that I was
 15
formerly.
 16

6 Jun 05

Rated 6 (6) by 3 users.
Active (3): 4, 6, 8
Inactive (1): 6

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Comments:

1 and 2 make no sense.  how do you break a broken habit?  am i just not clever enough to get it?
i like 3-6 we all like the bad boyz don't we.
i also like 7-10 until i get to broken hearts.
11-14 is just cute, i hate cute.
 — cruellshoos

I guess I mean habit of being broken, or breaking habit? or just an old tiring habit, suggestions for changes are welcome. Same goes for broekn hearts and my "cute" ending.
 — Cloudless

hmm, this is quite interesting.  i like how you wrote this.  good jorb, and keep on writing!!  (;

ducktape
 — ducktape

Lines 11-14 could be a good epitaph!  The rest - remove some white space.  Line 1 - the repetition of break does not make this stronger.  One break would do the job.  Break this habit that breaks me:
loving, etc.

The way it's written, it's so dramatic that the reader can just tell that you'll be on to the next broken bad boy any minute!
 — Isabelle5

I can't help myself!! honestly, I need an intervention- I tried to get myself interested in some nice boys(honest i did), but either I'm too wild or they're too boring. I thought dropping my other bad habits would help but lordy it seems as though nothing but a bad boy will do. Aren't their any interesting people without major baggage? Probably not, any even if there were, I'd probably be too damn crazy for them. Oh well, I still have a chance, I don't have ANY boy right now.
 — Cloudless

I made it a little more cheeky and jokingly dramatic beause your're all too right Isabelle. Thoughts on the sidenotes? Improve the poem or no?
 — Cloudless

Now it seems kinda short.. hmm.
 — Cloudless

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