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my girlfriends girlfriends underwear

are friendly red
match her lips
enjoy daylight when she stretches
appear to make her uncomfortable
hook me all afternoon
wake me up
feel like she
so downy and bounce
are invisible to my girl
who laughing left us
alone for a spell
when peeled back show marks
where elastic bites
her hip flesh all day long
touched my fingers there
smash down the fresh grass
hold a smile
roll into a tiny loop
light as her laugh
useless to her now
in a field
fit right in my fist
when happy she returns
a little missed
taking time off
no longer show
but she doesnt know
wont protect her
from the anxious skirt wool
and the cool air under a table
love wandering why
where we sit three smiling
telling stories to the sky
this morning in her drawer
now feel a coal in my pocket
burning a hole in my thigh
make the coffee a wine
hot as the sun on their heads
and mine

29 Apr 05

Rated 8.5 (8.8) by 2 users.
Active (2): 8, 9
Inactive (4): 1, 9, 9, 10

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i am pretty sure that this is an amazing fucking piece of writing.
 — unknown

 — unknown

i think i'll just savor this writing
cause it's beautiful
 — Bloodfetish

beautifle wording (not sure I personally like the subject) NEVER CHANGE THIS POEM!!!
 — spicy_sugar

I have to agree with the others--->
This kicks ass.
 — Krttika

If you comment as unknown, pls let me know if you are m or f.
If you think your crit could be more honest as unknown, please do that!
What feeling does it give you?
BTW, there is a tiny story here and I'm interested if it can be read.
If you think you pretty much get what i'm going for, i'd love to hear any suggestions for improvement.
Thank you!
 — unknown

if you post a poem as unknown please let us know if you are M or F.
 — unknown

??? why would the writer's gender matter?
 — Bloodfetish

"love wandering why"   nice.
 — unknown

Are the words in l4+5 purposely mixed up?  and im not sure about l6-9. I really love the rest of the poem though, especially 12-20, the elastic marks make this so realistic and wonderful, and them turning into burning coals in your pocket. Very nice.
 — unknown

the words were supposed to be mixed up.  but i nixed that idea.
 — unknown

well, dont get me wrong, i loovvee this poem, but the story i get fro it, is that you were at a party with your girlfriend, fell for her friend, you hooked up, didnt tell your girlfriend, became close friends with both of them, stayed with your girlfriend, but kept your girlfriends friends panties... but thats probably not it at all...--->F.
 — unknown

great.  that's it.  except it wasnt a party.
just hanging out on a sunny saturday.
and i didnt fall for her.  i was just electrified
for a day, and a poem.
 — unknown

to tell you the truth, it didnt happen.
i dont even have a girlfriend!
it's all fiction.  just trying to communicate
that "that girl's underwear" feeling.
 — unknown

yeah, that girls underwear feeling.. i guess some girls like it.  It's truely form before function.
 — john

Secretive and sinful, deliciously playful and mean at the same time.  Not a great fan of infidelity but I like the writing here.
 — Isabelle5

you have no shame and why should you,great poem with an unusual slant
 — larrylark

i dont know why i kinda like this..hmm...but i like this...except that..i dont like "panties" on the tittle...
 — inc_reign

I think the underwear should be white, or yellow.  Don't ask me why....just don't fit with the sunny field. hmm.
kk (F)
 — unknown

Belongs in a porn mag, not a poetry site.  Poems like this lower the tone.  
 — Roz

thanks roz, we just LOVE the poetry police who protect our site from poetry they are so confident is 'low'.  this is in the top 10% of poems on this whole site.  did you even read it?  or did the 'underwear' blind you.

that's how i felt too.
 — unknown

This poem made me hate poetry.
 — Roz

Wow.....it just seems so real.....creates brilliant imagery in my head......great use of creativity in ur brain....
 — UrbanAng3l

Roz, you are a totatl jerk!  I think you are just insecure because I've read your poetry and it sucks.  You need to lay off people and keep your nasty freaking thoughts to yourself.  If you can say something constructive keep your stupid mouth shut!
 — unknown

i hate it when guys steal my underwear. like, it's pretty expensive, you know?
 — unknown

Hang on a second Roz has no poems?...
 — UrbanAng3l

Beautiful poem! ^^
 — Nebetsu

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